And the beat goes on and on and on ~

As if living in a house that is still unfinished isn't enough ... I'm beginning to resemble someone on the show "Hoarders: Buried Alive".  The kitchen cabinets STILL haven't arrived which means there is nothing in the kitchen except a temporary sink/counter, microwave and "hallelujah" a coffee maker!!!

I'm grateful for electronic connections and the ability to store a lot of different information so that I don't have to remember it ... however (comma)...there is a down side.

I dropped my android phone cracking the screen - rendering it useless in about 2 hours.

I got a new phone - thanks to insurance - and then the problem hit. Sprint was unable to transfer my contacts - which are backed up on gmail. No problem you say? Unfortunately, I listened to gmail and put the 2 step authentication on the account.

This process involves a program ON THE PHONE...which, of course, I don't have access to. I am now up to email 5 with gmail trying to prove that I own the #$& #@&* %&$$& account. Grrrrrrr. Hopefully, this last round will solve the problem.

But based one something their CEO said 3 years ago I don't hold out much hope:

"Mr. Badros argued that Google asks so little personal information of a new Gmail customer that it's hard to determine identity when the genuine user and the impostor both present themselves to claim the account, and neither can produce the verification. He said more information could be asked of users when they sign up, but the inconvenience would dissuade them from trying the service.

Mr. Gilbert added that proving identity with only minimal information is a problem, whatever form of communication is used to reach customer support. He said, "Even if they were standing right in front of us, it wouldn't help."" Stay tuned for information about the house ... and the email....

Up And Down ~ Early Evening Thoughts

Just a couple of notes ... I had a visit to the doctor today, and she was very pleased with my progress. She is very sure that it was bronchitis AND a viral infection. Of course, she had to add something she didn't tell me the other day ~ which was her concern that it would digress into pneumonia. I'm glad she didn't add that to the mix, my mind was already working overtime on possible problems. Thank you for those who added comments or emails. They were very encouraging, uplifting and ~ frankly ~ a great comfort to me.

And I am happy to report I am about 98% healthy. There is still a little coughing - at least I can talk in complete sentences now - and some "residual" issues. However, I can report I am back in the "pink" of things and enjoying being up and around once again.

The "down" news of the day is that Beverly Sills lost her battle against cancer today. And a beautiful voice has been silenced and a major supporter of the arts and people is no more. And yes, I had a chance to meet her ~ and she was as delightful as people say she was!!! A true artist and a wonderful human being ~ for whom no one was beneath her ~ and as a result had a zest for life and people!!

I said in the last post, that I couldn't find a video of her performances with her close friend Carol Burnett -- but I finally did ... a wonderful mash-up of jazz and opera. It's on the Beverly Sills website, so I can't embed the video ... but --->here is the link<--- which is appropriately titled "The Farewell Medley." One final video ... At the age of seven, Sills was chosen to be in the film short "Uncle Sol Solves It" in which she played a precocious singer whose family had various ideas about where she should study voice. She is taken to sing for Uncle Sol in his "Problem Court." He decides, after her perky rendition of the Arditi classic, that she should study in America. (performed in 1936)



And so I say farewell to a wonderful person, an incredible talent and a person who only wanted the best in all she put her hand to do...and expected no less from those around her.

---more tomorrow

And For Your Viewing Pleasure ~ Evening Thoughts

It was a day full of frantic activity, a doctor appointment, back to work and more frantic activity around me. And to make the evening complete, I had to leave work much later than normal and missed the best connection to the bus I needed. As I'm trekking my way to the train ~ I get a phone call from my new (as in brand new) maintenance man who is having trouble drilling a lock.

Back to the complex ... and yes, there definitely was a problem. Forty minutes later, back to the train to catch the bus home. (I was NOT singing three buses and a train!) There was yet another phone call from maintenance newbie - and while I'm getting someone to help him out...the cell phone battery runs out and the phone shuts completely down. The wonders of electronica - all my phone numbers and contacts were in the phone. So, I was without a way to call ... even if I'd borrowed a phone.

It was a good time to just sit...wait...watch...and put things into perspective.

As to the Doctor visit - she is working this from an interesting perspective ~ rather than trying to start with what it could be, she is starting with what the problem isn't. So, several serious issues were eliminated today - being honest: TB and such are not the problem. The illness is not behaving as bronchitis should, however, she is strongly leaning toward that and/or a viral outbreak...and it treating it as such. I may not have any internal bugs left when she's done! And hopefully, there will be no major side effects from the medications. I didn't care for the two shots I got - and certainly have no desire for any more!!

The visit today was a relief to me. It's amazing how the mind can add worry on top of worry, without any grounds. Of course, there's always those around who want to add their two cents into the mix ~ mostly with dire stories of someone who died from just what I've had going on - or ended up in a terrible state and have I been tested for (insert name of Disease de Jour here)? I know they were only trying to offer comfort and care.

The comments and emails I received were more in line with the community I enjoy. My dear friend EB sent me a delightful card today that made my heart sing this morning.

I could have played "hide and seek" and said nothing, but "sardines" is much more fun and allows people to share in all facets of life.

There is more to share - but I'm very tired, and the medicine is "kicking my butt."

--more later

Is It Still Safe To Go Back In The Water ~ Morning thoughts

Yesterday I arrived at the doctor's office in time for my appointment, to be met with the news that she had an emergency and would need to reschedule. However, they did know some of what she wanted done for testing, and would I have a seat and hold out my arm.

After feeling similar to a pin cushion, my NEW appointment is for tomorrow - although if there is a cancellation, they will try and get me in today. They also had some pills to take that would help me sleep and not spend all my time coughing. Did they work? Yes, they did.

I will know more tonight, and even more after tomorrow. And, trust me, I am going to be playing "sardines" (see last post) and you will know what's going on.

This morning I was going through some news sites -- and I ran across this wonderful news item. My only question? What else could they use the batter for? ...

(June 26, 2007)SCOTT CITY, Missouri - Police said inmates used pancake batter and toothpaste to cover a hole they made to allow a female inmate to slide into the next cell and join a male inmate. Now steel plates are being added to the Missouri jail's interior walls.

The hole at the Scott City Jail was discovered this weekend, said police Chief Don Cobb. He said inmates removed a block from the wall, after making a digging tool with a nail, a wire from a light fixture and a toothbrush.

The mixture of pancake batter and toothpaste looked like mortar, he said.

Prisoners will stay in a county jail until a security check is completed at the city building.

The city jail's exterior walls already are reinforced with steel to prevent inmates from escaping, Cobb said.

"Unless they can smuggle in an arc welder, they aren't getting through that," he said.

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water ~ Early Evening Thoughts

When I last posted ~ I really thought my illness was fading away. That, unfortunately, turned out to be quite wrong. There are some serious concerns about what it is ~ and as a result ~ I have a doctors appointment in the morning. She wants to run a couple of tests and see if she can pin down what exactly is wrong.

To say I have mixed feelings about what is going on would be an understatement. On the one had I want to know what's going on ~ on the other hand I'm not sure I do.

When I performed in the delightful adaptation of Robert Fulghum's series of writings titled "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" we did a section called "Hide and Seek." He had written brilliantly about the wonderful game - ending, of course, with "Olley Olley Oxen - All In Free! He follows that with a description of "Sardines."

"Better than hide-and-seek, I like the game called Sardines. In Sardines the person who is IT goes and hides, and everybody goes looking for him. When you find him, you get in with him and hide there with him. Pretty soon everybody is hiding together, all stacked in a small space like puppies in a pile. And pretty soon somebody giggles and somebody laughs and everybody gets found." (emphasis mine)
--Robert Fulghum:
All I Really Need to Know, I Learned In Kindergarten.

As he usually does, he brought the story home with the story about a man who had developed cancer, and told no one. It was discovered by everyone he knew ~ including family ~ upon his death. His idea was to protect them from worry, etc. The end result was far from what he would have wanted. His family and friends felt cheated, hurt and confused that he couldn't or wouldn't trust them enough to be supportive and caring during that time.

And that leads to personal community...and the need for it.

I'm going to close this with a story about Jimmy Durante. He was asked to be part of a show for World War II veterans. In his response to the organizers, he explained that he could participate, but he would be able to do only a short monologue, and would then have to leave for another event. The organizers were happy to have im at all, and agreed.

When he was on stage, however, something happened. He finished his monologue and stayed. Ten minutes became twenty which became thirty. The applause and laughter grew louder and louder. Finally, he thanked his audience and took his final bow. Backstage, someone mentioned that they thought he had to leave early. Durante said, "I did have to go, but take a look, here's the reason I stayed in the front row."

There were two men one who had lost his right arm, and the other his left. They were sitting in such a way they were able to clap and cheer ... clapping loudly and proudly.

Dark Matter In Space And Life(2) ~ Late Night Thoughts

There was a slight (?!) pause between the last post and this one (OK ~ I regard 24 hours as slight...in posting time anyway.) However, I had a delay in getting an answer to what was wearing me out.

However, here is where I'm standing at the moment. Exactly how can someone be told what the bitter anger, resentments and "persecution" is doing to them and to those around. How can you show someone - who can not see the examples around them - that things can and should be different.

As I was searching for answers, I stumbled over the answer right in front of me. There is no use "telling" someone what their anger/bitterness/resentments are doing to themselves and/or others. Doing this could result in an enormous argument with denial and even more anger. Instead of helping, it creates more barriers to any change or epiphany to create a sense of what needs to be done.

I would love to say that this is the "WD method of handling people" and market it. However, it really is a combination of a number of ideas that I've heard/read/ripped off/been told over the years. In this problem, it involves two parts: 1) the I part and what I will call 2) the directed question part.

Often, when someone has a problem with another person, they tell them so by using a "you-statement," for example, "you didn't .....!" While the statement may be true, by phrasing it that way, the listener is likely to get defensive, and begin to argue. They might reply, "I couldn't because the deadline was unreasonable!" or "You are always pestering me.....!"

Another approach to the same problem is using an "I-message:"

When you interrupted me speaking
I felt angry because
I was feeling unimportant.

While this disguises a "you" statement, it allows the thoughts/feelings of the person to be expressed in a fairly non-threatening manner. Hopefully, it will cause the other person to think and not simply react. However, there has been some rethinking about these statements. (But wait ~ there's more!) The point of the statement is to get the other person to see the problem from a different non-threatening point of view. However - there is a tendency for these statements to come across as stilted, childish and somewhat patronizing ~for adults anyway.

Situation 1: Mark is yelling at James because James changed the channel on the television from MTV to VH1. Mark is calling James names and telling him to turn it back or else Mark will pound him.

Traditional "I" message:
James says to Mark: "I feel angry when you call me names and yell at me and I want you to stop it."

The above statement would warm the heart of almost any trainer/consultant over the last few years. What I think it would NOT do is change anything in the situation.

New "I" message:
James says to Mark: "Hey, Mark. Cool out, man. I'm starting to get angry. I don't like it when people call me names and threaten me. I didn't know that changing the channel was such a big deal. Can we work this out like friends?" (no doubt a sanitized version of the actual conversation)

(And as a bonus ~)

I thought these kind of statements were easy ~ I was given this example from the Ohio Commission of Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management. I would be interested in answers. Aside from the fact this brought up a huge set of memories (not so pleasant) that, frankly, surprised me.

Jerome is walking to his locker when an older student bumps into him and then begins yelling at Jerome about being stupid and clumsy.

Jerome say to the older student:
(ten bonus points if the end of the statement does NOT involve Jerome hitting the other student or both of them getting expelled/suspended.)

Now, the second part that could be used is (as I said) what I'm calling the "directed" question. These questions are somewhat probing and yet, non-threatening. These are more difficult to phrase. This is actually what I've begun to use with the problem I'm facing. I want SE to see for them self what their behavior is doing to them self and those around.

These type of questions take thought and some planning.


---more on this tomorrow (within 24 hours I promise!)

The Ass Of Assumptions (end) ~ Early Morning Thoughts

A very dear friend of mine (SGB) has a wonderful saying:

"words written can not be unread and
words spoken can not be unheard."

As D&D would not listen let alone ask, their reactions became more and more pronounced - to me and toward Toby. I was walking a fine line that was no longer a balancing act but a high wire act without a net.

Eventually when walking a high wire while trying to balance any number of things, something is going to fall - and usually the person on the wire is the one that falls. I had been trying to keep everyone at peace and trying to compartmentalize what was going on in my life. While that can be a valid and valuable contribution of life - it can also be a major trap with no escape.

I've written before that I have a tendency toward "peace at any cost." Sometimes there is no peace, and the end cost can turn out to be quite expensive. In this case, with D&D it had several unintended results. The friendship with both came to an immediate end. It wasn't just that one single comment, but rather a gathering of a number of comments - not just about Toby - that led further and further down the road of erroneous assumptions.

And because they had built themselves a "construct" out of their assumptions, there was no way I could see that would change anything in either their maps or territories.

A construct is any idea that people invent in order to accomplish some particular end. And a construct, while not an absolute truth becomes something people assume to be an absolute.

I finally realized that I was not just walking the high wire around D&D, but I was also being untrue to myself by allowing the comments and assumptions to basically be unchallenged and/or unchecked. I had added false luggage tags and added baggage to my train - and it really was slowing the engine down. It actually spurred me even further to look even more into my life and the assumptions I've held onto, and which ones I've - perhaps - turned into constructs that need to be de-constructed.

In Wait
There are waves of emotions
that travel on land,
there's beauty in silence
when you cradle the sun;
there are channels of thought
that use sweat when they paint pores,
there are smiles in drawers
that wait to be released . . .

There is a hidden power within us,
just lying around, waiting to be seen.
---Alex Luna
(copyright 2005)

The ending of a friendship
is a painful
as the click
of a coffin lid.

Letting go
Of assumptions
That don't fit
This emerging life
Of a planetary
Consciousness,
Releasing
Unjust claims
That hold us hostage
To outworn mindsets,
Which drive us
To destroy ourselves
And others,
As penitence
For our power.

Releasing our minds
From the slavery of violence,
Freedom rushes in,
Flying to
Animate fresh visions
Of who we are
And what we can do,
Enwilling us with
Power over ourselves,
To choose
To be and do
With others.

Discovering love
Encoded in our genes
And compassion
That has been building
Through eons of change.
We find
Revived meaning,
A common purpose,
Shared action,
Different ways
Of seeing life,
New learnings,
A whole-some mix,
A holy diversity
Resolving
To empassion compassion
And stride forward
In myriad modes
Of Peace.

This is our time,
Our chance,
To rally Peace
Into the world.
---Verie Sandborg

The Ass In Assumptions (two) ~ Early Morning Thoughts

Some time ago, I began talking about assumptions and the problems I faced with D&D because of it ...I had written (in part):

Assumptions are typically picked up from the culture in which we live. We acquired them as we acquired so much of our other knowledge from the culture, without being especially aware that we were learning it.

Going back to D&D for a bit - They both, but one of the D's in particular have acquired a number of assumptions from the culture we live in AND (although they would be loath to admit it) the gay culture they surround themselves with. That happens no matter what the orientation...but in this case, the one D's (hereafter D2) assumptions have stronger influences than most. . .Quoting from above: Assumptions typically take for granted that something or other is a fact, the way things really are. Even if they are not that way.

D2 had placed Toby in a category based on his assumptions...even though the assumptions had little basis in fact.

It started the night he told me that I "had more patience that he did what "those' kind of people." Now, "those kind of people" is a phrase that has always had the effect on me that fingernails on a blackboard have. And usually my reaction to each is about the same. Being a product of the 60's and 70's albeit not directly in the South (except for one VERY long year) - I am extremely aware of just how that phase was said and used.

I never expected anyone I was deep friends with (and who knew anything at all about me) would ever show serious bigoted assumptions or anti-people assumptions at anytime. As time marched/moved/tip-toed on with Toby and me, there were other remarks that were made showing a lack of understanding.

As I had written IF they had asked question and truly listened to the answers, there would not have been a problem. However, for them it was easier to make the assumptions then to find out the truth.

Toby has a bit of an image problem...I would be the first to admit that - but also the first to find out that the image does not match the reality. (Hmmmm, sounds like a few other posts I've written.) Toby is 6 feet 4 inches tall with tattoos on each arm. He's somewhat "built", keeps his hair buzzed short and has an Ohio accent (crossed with a deep South accent) you could - at times - cut with a chain-saw. He enjoys people of all types and is very gregarious and at times exceptionally outgoing. And yes, he can be mistaken for a hustler.

When I first met Toby I had problems as well. I had written about a deep rooted cynicism that I had to root out.

Later, after D&D's return from successful errand running. Toby (not his real name or initial) whom I had never seen before, literally came and starting "working" me...I'd use the term hitting on me, but I didn't want to give the impression of violence. I found that unidentified feeling really rubbing me ... and then I realized with a shock what it was. I was surprised by cynicism. Actually a very deep rooted cynicism. Something I was totally unprepared for, and unaware of how much I had.

cyn·i·cism(sĭn'ĭ-sĭz'əm)-n- An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others:

And how was it expressed? Thank heavens only mentally. I think I realized it before it became expressed either in body language or verbally. My inner reaction was one of very high mistrust of the integrity of him and his motives.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
--H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

And now - "the rest of the story ~

At one point, I was asked to house/dog sit for D&D. It was going to be a simple weekend - in on Friday - back home on Sunday. On Saturday evening, D&D were expected to be at a contest that a mutual friend was entering. I was more than willing to go and would be back for the dogs within about 2 1/2 hours.

In the middle of the afternoon chaos struck. (this IS a story about D&D after all!) The person who was entering the contest was being pulled in about five directions for rides to the contest and a couple of other places. This was not a problem - however, Toby was riding with him. So, he dropped Toby off at D&D's for about 45 minutes. All the people were delivered, I had a delightful time at the contest. Our friend didn't win, but wasn't too upset about it either. The weekend came to an end (and yes, there was a problem with the puppies - it only took a couple of hours to clean-up ~ they do belong to D&D after all.)

As I was driven home by D1, I explained what had happened and everything seemed to be fine. Alas, it was not going to be. On my part - I made the assumption 1) that D1 had discussed it with D2 and 2) that everything was fine.

Several weeks (!) later I received a very boozy phone call from D2 that literally started off with "I know what you did." My response was an ever so polite "What?" "I know what you did and I have a few things to say about that." Again, my response was an ever so polite "What the ______ (insert any word you want here) are you talking about?"

"I know that Toby was here and I want you to know that" (here is it) "those kind of people stand on the porch and if they have to poop or pee - oh well, that's where they do it."

---tomorrow the final chapter of my friendship with D&D.

A Small Parable ~ Early Evening Thoughts

He sat on the bank looking longingly at the water. The sky reflected on the moving surface created a continually changing pattern - sometimes calm, reflective and sometimes dark, foreboding. But always, the water seemed inviting and yet, challenging. He'd been warned that the water was dangerous. That it was deep, full of currents - riptides that would pull him under. However, as he looked he could almost hear music that the ripples and/or waves made as they pushed against the shore.

Then, as sometimes happens - a storm came up. There was tremendous wind, thunder and lighting. It should have been impossible to hear anything above the fury of the storm, but he was positive he could still hear the sound of the water against the shore.

As always, the storm finally faded away - and peace resumed again. The water looked as if it had never changed. The sound of the ripples against the shore line moved him to stand and move toward the edge.

"There's nothing in there for you." said a voice behind him. He turned to look. "Nothing in there but deep roiling currents that could take you and smash you against the rocks and crags. Leaving you broken and possibly dead."

"This kind of water is best left alone." said another voice. He moved his head to one side to see the speaker. "This kind of water offers nothing ...nothing but - well, they say it has poisonous properties that can eat away at the flesh. This kind of water supposedly has sharp microscopic animals that dig in and cause great pain."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Have either of you ever been in the water?" was his not so subtle challenge to the two speakers. He was met with silence. "I thought so," he finally said to them.

So, he turned back and watched the water under the setting sunlight. The rays of light skittered across the surface and seemed to dance before his eyes. Then he saw it. In the middle of the water was a small boat, and standing in that boat a solitary person. This person seemed to be looking directly at him. (If the truth be told, it was too far to be sure that's what the person was doing, but to him it seemed as if he was.)

With only a moments hesitation, he took the first step into the water. It was warm, pleasant without sharp creatures. He took another, then another. Finally the walking placed the water at his knees. He continued to move into the center of the water. He now was creating ripples that pushed toward the shore and toward the small boat in the center.

The water was now up to his waist and yet, all was peaceful. With his eye on the target, he moved further and further away from the shore. Suddenly he realized - the fear of what he didn't know had been keeping him back on shore. The advice of those on the shore could have kept him there and he would never had tried.

He was approaching the small boat and its occupant. The water was no higher than his waist. The depth and fear was nothing more then an illusion. He realized he could handle this. This was manageable and would provide many memories in the days to come.

---wd

The Ass In Assumptions (one) ~ Early Morning Thoughts

Assumption comes from the Latin ad + sumere, and has the meaning of "to take something for granted," "to suppose that it is true." Assumptions typically take for granted that something or other is a fact, the way things really are. The thing that makes assumptions difficult to deal with is that they largely occur at the unconscious level.

For example: Why should anyone study? One ponderous answer might be, "Knowledge is better than ignorance, or, It is more important to acquire learning than it is to know nothing. "
And a voice says: "That's certainly obvious." I wish it were, but it is not. Identifying assumptions is never obvious. Assumptions are not learned in school and then promptly forgotten -- like the capital of Britain , or the Einstein's famous formula. Assumptions are typically picked up from the culture in which we live. We acquired them as we acquired so much of our other knowledge from the culture, without being especially aware that we were learning it. (insert trumpet sounds around the above statement please)

Before going on, I need to add another little term to the discussion - construct. A construct is any idea that people invent in order to accomplish some particular end. (please insert more trumpet sounds here) A construct is not the same as an absolute truth. A construct is simply an idea which people--very often people with an agenda--have created.

It's been awhile since I mentioned anything about D&D. While not a major part of my writings, what has happened over the last few weeks IS a major part of my life.

I have written about how I met Toby and some of what we have gone through in an attempt to make he and I -"us." For a number of reasons that has undergone a change, and we are going to remain in the friends category. This is a good thing. It's making maps match territories, making sure luggage tags are accurate and accomplishing what they need to on each of our life journey.

What is important now is to work hard at developing yourselves into truly wonderful human beings. Ultimately, the relationships you form are a reflection of your own state of life.

Going back to D&D for a bit - They both, but one of the D's in particular have acquired a number of assumptions from the culture we live in AND (although they would be loath to admit it) the gay culture they surround themselves with. That happens no matter what the orientation...but in this case, the one D's assumptions have stronger influences than most. For all I know, D has some serious personal experiences that have caused some of his strong assumptions to "flower." Re quoting from above: Assumptions typically take for granted that something or other is a fact, the way things really are. Even if they are not that way.

D had placed Toby in a category based on his assumptions...even though the assumptions had little basis in fact. It started the night he told me that I "had more patience that he did what
"those' kind of people." Now, "those kind of people" is a phrase that has always had the effect on me that fingernails on a blackboard have. And usually my reaction to each is about the same. Being a product of the 60's and 70's albeit not directly in the South (except for one VERY long year) - I am extremely aware of just how that phase was said and used.

I never expected anyone I was deep friends with (and who knew anything at all about me) would ever show serious bigoted assumptions or anti-people assumptions at anytime. As time marched/moved/tip-toed on with Toby and me, there were other remarks that were made showing a lack of understanding.

Toby could come across negatively IF (again - IF) no one asked questions. I had no problem looking him in the eye (which is a little difficult as he is several inches taller!) and asking what I needed to know. Was there a possibility of untruth? Yes, but as I learned with children (all three of them!) truth WILL out...all you have to do is listen for it.


AS D&D would not listen let alone ask, their reactions became more and more pronounced - to me and toward Toby. I was walking a fine line that was no longer a balancing act but a high wire act without a net.

-- more tomorrow

Strength, Feelings and Integrity

So many people made fun of him ~ but he was amazing at touching feelings at just the right moment. I will admit that even as an adult I enjoyed watching his program. And remember the incredible special he did for children on death and dying?

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it."
--Fred Rogers
The World According to Mr. Rogers.

-- more on this later

Another Triplet ~ Early Morning Thoughts

This weekend spent at D&D's was interesting, enjoyable (mostly) and somewhat thought provoking. I'll share more tomorrow, but while there I ran across these three stories, that had quite a bit to do with the weekend - and I wanted to share them. Unfortunately, I could find no authors for the tales.

--------

One night three horsemen were riding across the desert. When they came to the dry bed of a river a voice came out of the darkness, and said, "Halt!"

The men obeyed the command of the hidden voice. the voice then said, "You have done as I commanded. Now get off your horses, pick up a handful of pebbles, put the pebbles in your pockets, remount your horses, and continue on your journey." The the voice added, "Since you have done as I commanded, tomorrow at sunrise you will be both glad and sorry that you obeyed me."


Mystified, the three horsemen rode on through the night. when the sun arose the horsemen reached into their pockets and found that a miracle had happened. the pebbles in their pockets had been transformed into magnificent diamonds, rubies and other precious stones. They remembered the warning, that they would be both glad and sorry; glad that they had taken some pebbles, sorry that they had not taken more.

-------

A spider built his web in a barn, high up among the rafters, where he started by spinning along think thread attached to the end of one of the beams. With this thread still attached to him, the spider jumped off the beam and spun out more thread on the way down, until he reached the place he planned as the center of his web. From the center he then spun out other threads like the spokes of a wheel, attaching each of them to the walls and other places. finally he had an exquisitely made web, that helped him catch many fine fat flies. but he grew fat and lazy and vain.

One day he was admiring the web he had spun and he noticed the long fine thread he had first spun from the top beam and said, "I wonder what that is for? I can't imagine why I ever put it there -- it doesn't catch any flies."

And so on a sudden impulse he broke it. but as a result, the whole wonderful web collapsed. The spider had forgotten that the one thread -- the link to the beam -- supported the whole web.

-------

A series of reverses had deprived him of money, possessions and finally of self-respect. He turned despairingly to begging -- extending an unsure hand with a few pencils in it at subways stations in downtown Manhattan.

One day an elderly banker dropped a quarter in the beggar's trembling hand, turned to go, hesitated and then wheeled on the beggar with: "I want to apologize for treating you as a beggar. You are a merchant, or course, and I came back to get the pencil I paid for." The astonished peddler handed the banker five pencils and thanked him with wondering warmth.

Many months later the banker stopped into a small stationery store on the outer fringe of the Wall Street area. He was about to leave after make a few minor purchases - the proprietor stopped him and said? "I'm sure you won't remember me, but I will never forget you. Some time ago, I was a subway beggar with a handful of pencils and you treated me as a business man - a 'merchant' you called me. that remark gave me back my self-respect. From then on I refused gifts and really sold pencils -- lots of them and good ones, too. From this sidewalk business I saved my money, borrowed a bit more, and then opened this little shop. I'm beginning to make a go of it. and all because of a few words from you."