As we approach the New Year with all its resolutions, hopes and dreams (more about that later) ... perhaps a reflection on some of the idiocy of last year would be in order.
I normally don't provide a link to another web site, but in this case ~ the stories are worth reading in their home blog and perhaps you might find the site as interesting as I do. These three blood-pressure raising tales are true stories that have been published on the This Is True website. (OK, his copyright had something to do with it as well ~)
One involves police unable to release pictures of escaped murderers because....well, I'll let the spokesman speak for himself at the end of the story. Another involves a blind boy who is not being allowed to take his seeing eye dog to school (the principal wanted him arrested) and last but NOT least - a town deciding to go to plan B . . . at a lot more money.
Hopefully, you are intrigued to visit
Randy Cassingham's "This is True" Blog , and relish the stories ....
about New Year's later ~
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
The 12 Days of Christmas Cutbacks
Effective immediately: the following economizing measures are being implemented in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:
The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance;
Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated;
The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French;
The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked;
The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order;
The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one;
The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement;
As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching;
Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps;
Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year;
Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line;
Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.