Even More Amore ~ Early Morning Thoughts

I've been reading and following Two Lucky People for some time. Yen and Jesse are two amazing people deeply in love. Jesse has an aggressive form of Melanoma. While this kind of illness could tear many couples apart ... they seem to be stronger than when I first met them through Yen's writing.

Here's some of what I've written -

Two People In Love ~ True Love

Further News About Jesse ~

Encouraging Valentine's News ~

A Welcome Bit Of News - Yen, Jesse ~

A Love With So Much More ~

Emotional Bill Of Rights ~

"I'm so happy to be with you." ~

Over and over, I've commented on the depth of their love and the strength that flows in their commitment to each other and to the life they are living.
Almost all the postings have been by Yen, but late in February Jesse treated us with a post of his own. The wonderful statement at the end was simple but with amazing depth. Jesse wrote: "He’s such an amazing person that I wish everyone of you could meet him in person. I’m so proud to have him as my boyfriend."

On the 26th we were again treated to a second post from Jesse. From his hysterically funny description of trash TV ("...trannies tear at each others’ wigs on Jerry Springer"), the forty-five minuted trek to the hospital, ending with his description of what it feels like when he finally makes it home ("By the time I make it to the door, I feel like I’ve been beaten half-dead by a very heavy stick.")When he does make it home, he's met with an outward expression of an inward choice Yen has made to be in love.

While I’ve been gone, Yen’s been busy transforming the apartment into a five-star resort.

When I step into the room, I smell faint jasmine. Incense is burning on the window-sill. I hear calm, musical voices in the background. There are fresh rainbow-colored tulips on the coffee table. A plate of cool celery and keen carrots.
What? A tall, icy drink of pina colada? (Virgin, my Yenny smiles.)

What Yen does to this place sets my soul at ease. I am now ready to take a nice, long afternoon nap. This apartment, this home, it’s my castle of comfort, my paradise.

As I said in an earlier post (and with what's been going on my life recently, I believe it even more): "I do not care if someone is gay-straight, black-white, moon-man or whatever, this kind of love is so deep and powerful, I maintain that great portions of the universe bow in honor of its strength."

And once again, I maintain they are living the vow/promise of ... "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness AND in health..."

It was wonderful to read the post from Jesse - and it reaffirmed what I believed - together they are a potent force - for healing, togetherness and love.


And as I climb into bed this morning, I once again will say to the listening universe, "I want a love that will be like that - the kind that Jesse and Yen share. The choice that no matter what, I will love and care." I'll say it quietly, but I have no doubt it will be heard...

Male Or Female ~ Only The Gender Genie Knows For Sure

Calling All Bloggers/Writers:

Is your writing masculine or feminine? Did you ever wonder? Does it really matter?

Here's a quick assessment tool that really is quite fun. I had a great chuckle at the results.

Find something you have written (it's best if it's over 500 words in length - supposedly it will be more accurate!) and click --->HERE<---. There is a box to paste what you've written - then ask for the analysis - and the first screen looks like this (click on the image to see larger picture):

Which is followed by a detailed analysis of the words used:


Makes for some interesting thinking....

An Early Morning "Mashup" ~ Early Morning Thoughts

In popular culture, Mashup usually means:
--Mashup (music), a musical genre of songs that consist entirely of parts of other songs
--Mashup (web application hybrid), a website or web application that combines content from more than one source
--Mashup (video), a video that is edited from more than one source to appear as one
--Mashup, in parts of the UK also means a brew, or a pot of tea (colloq. Yorkshire)

When music sounds, gone is the earth I know,
And all her lovely things even lovelier grow;
Her flowers in vision flame, her forest trees
Lift burdened branches, stilled with ecstasies.

When music sounds, out of the water rise
Naiads whose beauty dims my waking eyes,
Rapt in strange dreams burns each enchanted face,
With solemn echoing stirs their dwelling-place.

When music sounds, all that I was I am
Ere to this haunt of brooding dust I came;
And from Time's woods break into distant song
The swift-winged hours, as I hasten along.
--Walter de la Mare

I had posted this clip once before - but in the spirit of mashup, I offer it as an encore.



Music is a door,
An escape to a different world.
A world you make and control in your mind.
Music is a hero,
One to cheer your spirits when you are down.
Music is an enemy,
sometimes the lyrics bring you down.
Music is your personality,
expressed through song.
The music player,
Is you, the one holding it all together.
Music is an awakening to the real world.
Its lyrics are real and true.
Music is a best friend,
One to give advice when you need it.
Music is what you think of it.
Its starts off empty and colorless,
and escalates to something more,
your own world.
--Cecilia Perner

This is an encore to the above piece of music. You'll recognize the violinist as the stage hand from the previous video.



The music in the air is so loud…
Yet it goes unnoticed daily
The melodies are of wars and rumors of the same…
Things considered unimportant and remotely real to the routine of simple survival
The mass of the peoples are accustomed to a life of conflicts…
And have adjusted a long time ago
Truly, wars are bad news…
And rumors of independent battles accompany high anxiety and stress
The will to survive becomes one’s greatest weapon…
New days mean new beginnings
While the instruments play the songs of division…
The spirit of the wise becomes real
Peace in time…
Appreciate it when it comes
It’s like the traveling winds…
That we enjoy sometimes
Let’s embrace the appetite for more brotherhood on a global scale…
Remedies for the killings, and unnecessary losses must play more
Let the new band play therefore…
And let’s begin to dance in peace, to peace and for peace
--Dennis Dames

Microsoft And Poetry ~ Haiku's For The Day

It's not often that Microsoft and poetry appear in the same sentence, but I was sent these yesterday by a dear friend and immediately fell in love with them. I have no way to verify the truth of them, but even if they are not (which is highly likely) the time someone spent to create them makes it worthwhile.

"In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. They're used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 13 error messages from Japan [in the original English]

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Fear And Violence ~ Early Morning Thoughts

I am interrupting the usual part 2 of yesterday's post. There has been a slight change of agenda. Tonight violence came home to someone very close to me. We all know the statistics and TV news keeps us WELL informed as to what awful things are happening around our neighborhoods, cities and nation.

Tonight those abstracts became reality as TOBY was mugged in the parking lot of a discount store on his way home. TOBY is not a small person (6'4") and was completely surprised by the method and attack. Unfortunately, it's a parking lot that has had trouble before - and STILL is basically unlit at night. He was on the sidewalk and was pushed through the bushes lining the lot. The three ______ (insert your own inappropriate words here) were on top of him in moments. He had his wallet taken and his backpack as well. The wallet was found at the end of the lot, the backpack almost two blocks away. Fortunately, he was not hurt in any physical way. He was very shaken and, not surprisingly, very frightened. He was trying to catch the last bus and felt he was in a "safe" area of town.

He was able to call a friend that lived close by - and he helped him find his wallet, backpack and call the police. He also helped him through the initial reaction to all that had happened.

To say that he is/was scared is an understatement. And I know that fear only too well. His description to me of what happened brought a not very welcome flood of memories back to me.

As I told TOBY as we were talking, he can be thankful his wasn't physical. The money and "stuff" could be replaced - the memories and nightmares will eventually fade. When physical violence gets involved, there's a lot more that has to be dealt with. And continue to be dealt with. I'm not going to go into my stories this evening.

I was sorry I wasn't there for the police. Their reaction was, frankly and sadly, quite typical - "You can file a report if you want, but the chances of anything happening are very slim." (translation: we really don't want to do the paperwork involved.) Had I been there - it would have been filed - if for no other reason to continue to highlight the problems with this particular parking lot. As this had never happened to him (or his friend) before, he agreed with the police.

This being TOBY's first day at his new job certainly put a damper on any feelings of joy and excitement he had. Perhaps over coffee tomorrow morning he will gain some of that excitement back.

Until it's time to catch a bus.

Boomshine ~ An Elegant Timewaster

It's been awhile since I posted one of these...and this one really is elegant and a massive timewaster good way to build your computer skills.



The premise is deceptively simple ... click the ringed dot to allow it to engulf the required number of dots to make level 12.

This is screen one:



And please remember the words deceptively simple ....

To start the game ---->CLICK HERE<-----
It may take a few moments to load the game - it is a flash game.

Note: I did make it through level 12 - but I'm not going to admit how many tries it took ...

Not The TV Fear Factor ~ Early Morning Thoughts

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness.
It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it."
--Fred Rogers
The World According to Mr. Rogers.

I picked up that quote a couple of days ago.
I realized that I was sailing/floating in some uncharted waters (for me) and in order to reach the shore facing some things that have been eating at me was the only way to deal with them. Otherwise, I would continue to wander like the Israelites in the desert...and frankly, I don't have a generation or two to wander as I wonder.

One of the most difficult feelings I have to deal with is fear. Not the monster in the closet type fear, but the "what if" kind of fear. This is a really insidious kind of fear as it may or may not have basis in actual fact. It also is the fear that can keep me from dealing with unpleasant situations. I grew up in a "peace at any cost" family and I made choices that transferred that into my own life. If I'm not alert to it, I will make decisions that allow the path of least resistance on anyones part. Of course, that's occasionally not the best choice to make.

-F-IND A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
This is a somewhat fun party game (after a couple of drinks, of course!). Lay a plank down on the ground and ask people to walk across it blindfolded. Then - while the blindfolds are still on - raise the plank one or two inches at one end, and again ask them to walk the plank. You'll find that a lot of them won't do it - their perspective makes them fearful that they will fall. Even though it isn't high at all. It's the perspective that makes the difference.

I'm dealing with D&D (when am I NOT dealing with them!) and their "problems" with Toby and our friendship. I am going to have place myself in a position of creating some boundaries that I didn't want to have to draw. As I was looking at the situation earlier this evening, I was struck with the realization that I had the wrong perspective.

-E-NGAGE YOUR PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, reportedly told of a time when he climbed into a taxicab in Paris. Before he could utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked, "Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?"

Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver if he had ever seen him before.

"No, sir," the driver responded, "But this morning's paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi stand where people who return from Marseilles always come. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

"This is amazing!" the writer exclaimed. "You are a real-life counter-part to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes."

"There was one other clue," the driver said.

"What was that?"

"Your name is on the front of your suitcase."

If only all clues were that obvious! However, many times they ARE that obvious if I will only take the time to look for them. In dealing with D&D and the current situation, I missed that clues that the problem was not TOBY (more on that tomorrow) but rather what THEY were expecting to occur in the situation and what they were expecting MY reaction to be (of course, in line with theirs!). Remember the false luggage tag of other peoples expectations?

There is also another tag people will try and put on your luggage. Those who are familiar with PAC will recognize "get back where you belong." This tag doesn't allow for changes on anyones part - and makes an attempt to place someone back into whatever category someone else has placed them.

-A-SK FOR HELP.
This can be difficult. However, along with the help someone else is able to give, or what we can find within ourselves - help may come from unexpected sources. The quote from Mr. Rogers is an example of that.

-R-ESIST THE TEMPTATION TO GIVE UP.
This is a temptation I can fall into very easily. It is almost second nature for me to worry about "what if" until it becomes "that's what's going to happen." Sometimes what I have worried about will happen (after all, the hypochondriac's tombstone DID read: "I told you I was sick."). But more often than not, it doesn't happen that way - unless I create a situation where that's the only outcome possible.

--What does all this have to do with D&D, Toby and other events in my life? To misquote Paul Harvey - "Tomorrow, the rest of the story."

--fear painting
www.philipstraub.com/where_fears_roam.htm

Strength, Feelings and Integrity

So many people made fun of him ~ but he was amazing at touching feelings at just the right moment. I will admit that even as an adult I enjoyed watching his program. And remember the incredible special he did for children on death and dying?

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it."
--Fred Rogers
The World According to Mr. Rogers.

-- more on this later