Blame It All On The Internet(s) ~ Early AFternoon Thoughts

Sorry, I've been away for a bit ~ that will change very soon. However, this little jewel from College Humor was too good to pass up . . .

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

An Elegant Moment In Time ~ Early Morning Thoughts

What happens when you take ~ 8 weeks of planning, 8 sound tracks of 60s through 90s music, 10,000 who auditioned, 400 chosen, 10 hidden cameras, and a terminal full of unsuspecting commuters? You get an amazing moment in time.

Here is a cell-phone commercial recently filmed in England ... at a railway station during rush hour...




Of course, it took quite a bit of planning and rehearsal ....



I always get a bit teary/emotional seeing things such as this ... hopefully, not too many commuters missed their trains ....

Side note ~ There are some advantages to being old(er). Years ago, on the old Alan Funt Candid Camera, in a supermarket ~ there was an announcement on the loudspeaker asking everyone to take a moment and dance. A waltz was played and the "plants" literally took unsuspecting shoppers in their arms and began to waltz with them. My family urben legend is that my uncle had written the show and suggested it as something they could do.

An Elegant Timewaster ~ Early Evening Thoughts

This has been a very interesting week plus. I will blog about it, once I figure out how I can tell what's going on without divulging too much of what's gone on and how I feel about it . . .

However, today DB sent me this delightful game, art project, time waster or . . . whatever you want to cal l it.

I will warn you ahead of time ~ it is VERY addictive.

When you click on the link (at the bottom of the post) , you might think you didn't get to the right place ... it will look like this:


But if you notice ~ in the upper left corner is a small box ... click your mouse on it and the menu/instructions will be revealed:



As always I am not responsible for lost time, bleary eyes or ignored significant/insignificant others ....

Thanks again DB . . . .

--> Here's the link <--

An Elegant Time Waster ~ Late Evening Thoughts

With this month marking seven months of sobriety, I was invited to attend a rehearsal for a production number of a club show - and possibly offer help. This involved going to a country-western club here in Houston. After some thought, I decided that as I had a purpose in being there ~ I would be alright. And I was ... uh ... except for one tiny problem. In order to smoke in Houston, there has to be a porch. This club had one, so out I went to have a cigarette. (Nasty habit, I know!) They even had two tents with seating under them. I am heading to the seats under one of the tents, which should have been no problem ~ right?

Alas and alack... I didn't see the cinder blocks that were holding up the supports. I, stone cold sober, sprawled flat on my face, after hitting my knees. Fortunately, the only thing hurt was my pride ... and sipping on my cold sprite made me feel even better. Note to self: watch for obstacles on floors!

Tonight I am posting a wonderful - elegant time waster for the mathematicians in all of us. Well, the mathematicians in you -- I have NO math skill.



The object is to convert the numbers of PI to musical notes ...

This is the 2nd screen you will see ....



A truly lovely time waster ....

---> CLICK HERE <---

Oh and some of the other time wasters listed there are quite fun as well!!!

SOMWPP ~ Late Eveing Thoughts

A new arrival joined my house collection this evening ... hence the title of this post (**you will have to read through the post for the definition**)

I was given these sayings today and wanted to share them with you ~

Things Dogs Must Try To Remember . . .

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up

when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cat's food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces

of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roil on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

"litter box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then

redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail in not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by

sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,

or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down

when it is raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and

dance all over the backyard with it.

(**SOMWPP ~ silly older man with pampered pooch**)

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when

he reaches in for Dad's driver's license and car registration.

---more tomorrow

A Not So Elegant Timewaster ~ Mid-Morning Thoughts

Are you really frustrated? Is someone in your office driving you nuts? Are the kids driving you absolutely wild? This should take care of all that!! My youngest grandaughter introduced me to this "game" and I have to say ... it's very funny.

If you are at work, you might want to turn your speakers down a little for this one ~ people might wonder exactly what you are doing ....

http://www.simonpanrucker.com/beans.html

Enjoy and feel better .... OK, just enjoy!!!

Pop, Lock and Drop ~ Early Evening Thoughts

I will be the first to admit it ~ well, actually I don't admit it to very many people. I am no good with locks. I had admitted in a previous post that the very first lock I drilled (to force it open) I made such a mess of it we had to kick the door in to get it open. It would be wonderful to say that things have improved since then, but a couple of recent events have convinced me that is not the case.

Recently, there was a problem with someone who was doing certain maintenance who had a habit of walking off with the keys to various storage rooms at the various properties. Normally, this would not be a problem as they usually are quite quickly returned ~ especially after an irate phone call from a manager to the maintenance person. Unfortunately, in this case, the maintenance person appeared to be walking off with more than just the keys. Now, I'm faced with a padlock that can't be cut off with bolt cutters and a boiler in the storage room that needs some attention. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't and never have enjoyed cold showers. I've discovered that my tenants don't care to take them either.

That shouldn't be a problem. I have a drill, the necessary drill bits and my wonderful expertise in drilling a lock. What I was never told ~ padlocks drill differently than ordinary locks. VERY differently. In an ordinary door lock/dead bolt there is a "sweet spot" on the lock that can be drilled and the lock will magically open...for everyone except myself. If someone has a diagram of that spot, I would appreciate a copy of it. I'm convinced that each lock has it's own spot and only maintenance people know where that spot is.

The spot on a padlock is different ~ dead center evidently. I started up the drill ~ thought better of it, and called our handy maintenance man who was working at a different property. I've got drill in hand, lock in sight and cell phone to the ear. "Be careful," I hear him say, "not to drill too far in or you'll never get it open." I found that very hard to believe. I got ready to drill. The involved putting down the phone as I had to hold the padlock in my hand while drilling. The mental image forming is probably very accurate.

I start in and have this sudden vision of having to be taken to the hospital with a drill bit through my hand, arm or other appendage. Maintenance had told me not to drill too far ~ I was really convinced that I really didn't want to drill at all. I will admit it, having to hold the padlock while I drilled made me feel similar to a magician's assistant on a board while he hurled knives at me .

Bracing myself ~ for what I wasn't sure ~ I again took the lock in one hand, and drill in the other. At the moment I started to drill, the phone rang. Using any excuse to put down the lock and drill, I answered it. The maintenance man was about five minutes away and wanted to know how I was doing. I tried to be quite nonchalant about it all ~ but he knows me. "Would you like me to come and drill it for you", was a statement I was not about to turn down. He arrived and actually talked me through the process. Yes, I held the lock and I drilled the lock and the lock did open. OK, I have to admit something: I found out (about half way through the lock) that there is a way to not have to hold the lock while drilling.

The boiler problem was quickly solved ~ and hot water was forthcoming. Maintenance went on his way (minus the key) and a new shiny lock laughed at me from the storeroom door.

---more lock tales to follow

Aging Rambo (Complex Tales) ~ Early Evening Thoughts

As much as I enjoy getting out and doing ~ sometimes, with my knees it can turn into an adventure. I usually in the grocery store get one of those electric carts and enjoy terrorizing doing the aisles and getting what I need. I even use them at what are called the "box stores"...large over filled and over crowded stores with the very recognizable name(s).

The other day I went on a new adventure ~ a home improvement box store. I decided upfront that I would use the electric cart and enjoy the ride. The person I was shopping with decided that my cart would be an excellent repository for various items being purchased for our two complexes.

The screwdrivers, drill bits and such I didn't mind. However, the sections of wood began to present a bit of a problem ...and then there was the boiler pipe. A nice, round L O N G piece of pipe. I had that balanced on one shoulder, and had some ability to steer with the other hand. I'm sure it was quite a sight.

Then, I saw him ~ the "kid." You know the ones in the store - totally bored, trying to stay out of trouble, but looking for something/anything to liven up the day.

Then, he saw me. The one with the large metal pipe leaning on his shoulder, in a cart that could only move at a certain speed.

The following account is absolutely true. (thank heavens there were no video cameras!)

Our eyes met and there was an instantaneous silent agreement. There was a slight nod from him, and a narrowing of the eyes from me. I moved my cart into position.

He ducked behind a handy display ~ but I was ready.

I raised the boiler vent pipe to shoulder level and waited. There were two sales people that stopped, turned and looked. I waited . . . A pair of eyes took a quick glance from behind the display and then he made a run for it.

I didn't do anything, the timing wasn't just right. Again, he took a quick glance and made a mad dash for the hand tools section. I fired (loudly, I might add) ...once then once again ... each time taking careful aim with my rocket launcher. He took a direct hit from the second shot...and fell gloriously, noisily and with great dramatic effect in the middle of the floor.

At this point (to quote someone) the parental unit attached entered the picture. I think he would have liked to be upset, but with several sales people and customers laughing and his child unit dusting himself off ...it would have been very hard to be upset.

Understand that during this entire time not one word had been exchanged. I took a last look at him, smiled ...blew on my fingernails and dusted them on my shirt. He gave me an enormous grin and a thumbs up sign.

I went on my electrified way to find the friend I was shopping with, he went with the parental unit to check out and everyone went back to doing what they had been doing before all this happened. I certainly felt better - I hoped that he felt better about the day. My friend, totally oblivious that a major motion picture scene had just been filmed, apologized for taking so long to find something.

And Yet Another Flash ~ Early Evening Thoughts

As I've posted before, I enjoy flash fiction.

Other names for it include short-short stories, sudden, postcard,
minute, furious, fast, quick, skinny, and micro fiction. In France such works are called nouvelles. In China this type of writing has several interesting names: little short story, pocket-size story, minute-long story, palm-sized story, and my personal favorite, the smoke-long story (just long enough to read while smoking a cigarette). What's in a name? That which we call flash fiction, by any other name would read as bright.
---Pamelyn Casto

Aside from naming this fiction, there is disagreement about the length of the story. Some believe it should be no longer than 500, 700 or 1000 words and some even stretch the limit to 1500 words.

I'm going to present a couple more flash stories for your enjoyment ~ don't hesitate to bring other stories to my attention. I might use them in another post about the power of the flash fiction short!

The Silver Shadow

I see you. You're right there in front of me. But the closer I look the harder it is to recognize you, my silver shadow.

When I think of me, you're not it. My mouth doesn't frown like that. There aren't dark circles under my eyes. When I think of me I see that picture from 1970. Me watching my friends playing the guitar, smiling, laughing, eyes crinkled against the sun.

How did that girl become you? I don't remember seeing it happen. It must have been slow, the transformation insidious. Maybe during all those years I gave myself over to parties and adventures. I wouldn't have seen them then.

I only recall looking at you once during those years, when a two-week drunk was winding down. My bones ached; even my skin hurt. In the ladies room, leaning on a sink and trying to decide whether or not to become sick, I looked up and there you were. For a brief moment I didn't recognize you at all. That was the moment I thought I'd be better off without either of us.

I didn't notice you during the career years. I was too busy proving myself worthy of promotion above the level everyone wanted to relegate me to. Even in the bathroom, I didn't have time to do more than glance at you on my way out the door.

Now, you're the one that everyone else sees, what they use to judge me. But you're not me. You're just that silver shadow.
---Debbie Orton 2001

And flash is at it's best when there's a real twist to the story ~

One Night Stand

At first Dan Chandler thought there was a thunderstorm crashing overhead, but a moment later he realized the sound came from inside his throbbing head. He pushed himself out of bed and tried to stand up. The spinning universe didn't cooperate, so he sat back down. His surroundings were a blur, so he rubbed his eyes until everything came back into focus.

Where the aitch-eee-double-hockey sticks was he, he wondered. He certainly wasn't home in his clean and comfortable bedroom. The dingy room was small and sparsely furnished. Most of the interior was taken up by the king-sized bed.

It suddenly dawned on Dan just where he was. Memories from his bachelor days came rushing back. He was in a cheap no-tell motel.

This wasn't good, he decided. He wasn't a bachelor anymore. He hadn't been for years.

He had to concentrate. Last night. He was out with the boys on another harmless excursion with his wife's full knowledge and consent. He remembered going to the bar, and he remembered drinking, and . . .

Nothing. The rest of the evening was a total blank. Anything could have happened after that. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Panic wouldn't help. How bad could it be? It just wasn't in his nature to do anything stupid.

That was when he felt movement behind him. Twisting his head around, he finally noticed the lump beneath the sheet.

This wasn't his apartment. Ergo, the shape under the sheet probably wasn't his wife.

It didn't take Einstein to figure out he had done something really stupid.

In horror, he jumped off the bed. That was the worst thing he could have done. The sudden movement woke up the sleeper. She (Please, dear God, let it be she, he found himself praying) shifted around and muttered something Dan couldn't quite make out. Then she seemingly went back to sleep.

Standing at the foot of the bed, Dan noticed for the first time that he was completely naked. Springing into action, he frantically searched the room for his clothes. There weren't many places to look, but his quest turned up nothing.

Now, he realized, was the perfect time to panic.

The smart idea seemed to be to get dressed quickly and then to slink away without ever confronting his terrible mistake. It was a good plan—one with few holes. Unfortunately, now he would have to wake her up to find out if she knew what had happened to his clothes.

He leaned down and shook her. He got no response. He tried again, only this time less politely. Still nothing. All of Dan's anger at himself and at the situation boiled over. He grabbed the sheet and ripped it away.

For the first time, he got a look at his partner. He stared at the long blonde hair, at the ruby red lips. He ran his eyes down every inch of her body, noting the full breasts and the shaved privates and the long, long legs.

His body went cold. This was just not possible.

Suddenly, she opened her blue eyes. She smiled with white even teeth.

"Good morning, lover," she said warmly. She reached out her arms invitingly. Her arms ended in fingers, not unlike his own.

Dan couldn't help himself. He screamed and screamed and screamed . . .

***

Dan woke up screaming. The first thing he saw was the familiar ceiling. He was in his own bed, covered with sweat. Through the open door he could hear the sound of the shower running.

It had to be his wife. It was all a dream, thank God. He bounced out of bed and rushed to the bathroom.

"Honey, I just had the craziest nightmare," he said. He sat on the toilet and recapped his dream. He didn't leave out the slightest detail.

"It was just awful," he said in conclusion.

"Poor baby," his wife said sympathetically. "Why don't you come in here and let me make you feel all better."

Needing no further invitation, Dan grinned and opened up the shower door. KLiillllop wrapped her cold green tentacles around him and pulled him close.

"Are you certain you weren't the least bit turned on by the Earthgirl?" she teased. "After all. She is your kind."

"I never regretted crashing here," he said solemnly. "You're the only girl in the universe for me."

Coating him with her loving slime, she quickly made all the bad things go away.
---by Charles Richard Laing ©2007

The Beginning -Complex Tales ~ Early Evening Thoughts

I had promised a number of posts ago, to start telling the "complex tales" about where I'm working. I've found my life once again full of delightful (and some not-so-delightful) people who can make my day more interesting than I ever thought possible.

Several weeks ago, when I hired on ~ one of the problems was maintenance...or rather the lack of it. We tried Toby in the job - and that didn't work out. I did have someone that lived at the complex who was versed in some of the skills that were needed, so it was decided to give him a try.

One of the first things anyone managing or doing anything at an apartment complex learns is how to drill a lock. Yes, sometimes you have to change locks for legal reasons (usually having to do with an eviction) and there is no key. It is not difficult to do - unless you don't do it correctly.

It was the end of the day, and R said that he would drill the lock for me - we were taking possession of an apartment that someone had vacated before the police were going to arrive. As he had never done this before, I showed him where to drill (there are two places) and how deep to drill (drilling for oil will only complicate the process). He repeated the where and the what for ~ and I started on my way home. I had to walk to the train to had downtown and then wait for a bus to carry me home. I had no sooner gotten to the train station when the first call came from R. Disaster evidently had struck.

I turned around and headed back to work. I arrived to find a very frustrated newbie maintenance man, metal shavings all over the porch - and a lock that looked as if it had been hit completely in the middle by a meteorite...there was a one and one half inch crater in the center of a three inch lock.

Now we are in a mess. The purpose of drilling in two places is to get the pins to loosen and eventually drop off and the lock gently, quietly and sweetly comes open. If not, you have to continue drilling in a circular pattern around the lock hoping that the screws from the inside will eventually drop out and you can twist the lock open.

Literally 12 ~ yes ~ twelve holes later, one of the screws drops - but the lock pins are holding strong. I now have a newbie maintenance man with steam coming out of his ears and if not-gentle conversation from him could have melted the lock ~ it would have.

I decided that the time for direct action had finally arrived. I really didn't think the second screw was going to drop, the pins were there for the duration and I really didn't have anymore time to mess with it. Since the drill was made of metal - I delivered several strong blows with the side of the drill to the lock casing ~ and the second screw dropped. And we were home free...except for the 2nd lock. Looking at R I asked if he was OK doing he next one. He assured me he was and with a quick motion of the drill, he began. It was success!!

I took out the sword of management and dubbed him "no longer newbie" on the spot...and again wended my way home. I also would never admit to him that the first lock I ever drilled on a vacant apartment ~ we ended up kicking the door in because I made such a mess of it. I have SOME pride left after all!!!

---more to follow

Horses Sweat, Men Perspire And Ladies Glow ~ Late Night Thoughts

The last of my illness seems to be passing away. Unfortunately, it seems to passing through my body...all I will say is there has been more dripping and such (I'm being discrete here folks!) and I've been literally sweating more out. Thanks for the comments and emails I've received...they mean a lot. I think this is the last of it.

I didn't want to simply not post tonight - and as I was bedded down this afternoon reading I ran across a delightful passage in a book that I just HAD to share with you.

I am an enormous fan of Lilian Jackson Braun who has written over 20 of "The Cat Who..." books. Without taking away any of the surprises in the books, she has managed to create a set of characters that are amazing in their reality ~ and a pair of Siamese cats that, if people will only pay attention, can solve murder and other mysteries.

The main character (other than the cats) is a delightful bushy mustached gentleman by the delightfully odd name of Qwilleran who writes a "Qwill's Pen" column for the local paper. In the book "The Cat Who Saw Stars..." he also starts a column about grammar - titled Gramma's Grammar. And as much as I love words, puns and use of language ~ I just couldn't resist this passage:

Dear sweet readers -- Your charming, sincere, intelligent letters warm Ms. Gramma's pluperfect heart! Sorry to hear you're having trouble with the L-words. The safest way to cope with lie, lay, lied, laid and lain is to avoid them entirely. Simply say, "The hen deposited and egg...He fibbed to his boss ... She stretched out on the couch." Get the idea? But if you really want to wrestle these pesky verbs to the mat, use Ms. Gramma's quick-and-easy guide.

1- Today the hen lays an egg. Yesterday she laid an egg. She has laid eggs all summer. (Ms. Gramma likes them poached, with Canadian bacon and Hollandaise sauce.)
2- Today you lie to your boss. Yesterday you lied to him. You have lied to the old buzzard frequently. (Tomorrow you may be fired.)
3- Today you lie down for a nap. Yesterday you lay down for a nap. In the past you have lain down frequently. (See your doctor, honey. It could be an iron deficiency.)

Here's my challenge: what fun combinations in the style of the above can you come up with for ~

who - whom
that - which
as and like
less - fewer

The Spider To The Fly ~ Early Morning Thoughts

A very interesting conversation took place today about poetry, and the bits and pieces that are part of conversations. Of course, "The time has come, the Walrus said --" was mentioned. Another mentioned: Quoth the raven ~ Nevermore!" And there were many others. Part of the fun was trying to find out who had originally written the poem or quote.

The following generated the most discussion - and the most incorrect answers. As this has been a somewhat "silly" Saturday, I'm reprinting the poem - along with a non-companion, companion piece.

"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the Spider to the Fly,
"'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,
And I have many curious things to show you when you are there."
"Oh no, no," said the Fly, "to ask me is in vain;
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."
"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around, the sheets are fine and thin;
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"
Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, "Dear friend, what can I do
to prove that warm affection I've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome - will you please take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"
"Sweet creature," said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shelf;
If you step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you're pleased to say;
And bidding good morning now, I'll call another day."
The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again;
So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready to dine upon the Fly.
then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple, there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are as dull as lead."
Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, -
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue;
Thinking only of her crested head - poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den
Within his little parlor - but she ne'er came out again!
And now, dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly, flattering words, I pray you ne'er heed;
Unto an evil counselor close heart, and ear, and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of the Spider and the Fly.
--Mary Howitt(1799-1888)

Now, for those of you who thought that Lewis Carroll had written the poem - Here is the parody he wrote of her poem.

The Lobster Quadrille

"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail,
"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle - will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
won't you join the dance?"

"You can really have no notion how delightful it would be
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters out to sea!"
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!", and gave a look askance -
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not,would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not,could not join the dance.

"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The farther off from England the nearer is to France -
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
won't you join the dance?"
--Lewis Carroll(1832-1898)


--book cover "Spider and Fly" available for $2800
www.weitzcoleman.com/faunagallery.htm

Boomshine ~ An Elegant Timewaster

It's been awhile since I posted one of these...and this one really is elegant and a massive timewaster good way to build your computer skills.



The premise is deceptively simple ... click the ringed dot to allow it to engulf the required number of dots to make level 12.

This is screen one:



And please remember the words deceptively simple ....

To start the game ---->CLICK HERE<-----
It may take a few moments to load the game - it is a flash game.

Note: I did make it through level 12 - but I'm not going to admit how many tries it took ...

Truth Or ... What The ~ Late Night Thoughts

I'll be the first to admit it ... I've needed some good laughs over the last couple of days. And along with a couple of dear friends sending me some good solid belly laughs, I also found some "true" stories. I put the true in quotations, not to say I question their accuracy - but rather to accent the word. After all, truth is almost always stranger than fiction. (A famous writer stated the difference as: Fiction has to make sense.

Guns have been banned in Britain for years, so now swords are getting to be a menace. "Imitation" samurai swords have been identified as a weapon of choice in various attacks, so the Home Office has announced it wants to ban the weapons by the end of the year as part of a "wider crackdown" on knives and other bladed weapons. "Samurai sword crime is low in volume but high in profile," a Home Office spokesman said. "It is already illegal to have a samurai sword in a public place but I want to restrict the number of dangerous weapons in circulation." Those caught with swords, whether used in an assault or not, would face up to six months in jail and a 5,000-pound(US$9,800) fine. (London Telegraph) ...The ultimate conclusion: half of all Brits will be sentenced to break rocks into sand so the other half can't throw them.

Lawyer Balthazar Napoleon de Bourbon, 48, of Bhopal, India, has always loved France, and even gave his children French names. And, he has recently learned, he may be first in line as king of France. His lineage has been traced to Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, and apparently also the Bourbon king of Spain. He is willing to take a DNA test to confirm the link. (London Guardian) ...You know, this "outsourcing" thing is really getting out of hand

Students from rival campus organizations at the Dawood Engineering College in Karachi, Pakistan, had fistfights and threw furniture at each other in a January confrontation over which group should get credit for putting up posters urging students not to fight on campus...sounds as if reading class had gotten a little behind.

Two Bulgarian nationals were arrested in San Marcos, Texas, in January after being caught allegedly robbing coin-change machines at an apartment complex, and police subsequently found apartment guides for several cities in their van, along with a half-ton of quarters ($18,700)...Now there's a commercial in the making!!

And last, but not least - from California Driver education Exam (where else and what else?)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.


Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

An Elegant Timewaster ~

Thanks to the folks at durnMoose blog I have been wasting a lot of time perfecting my computer skills with this delightful game.


I have to admit I thought getting the "treasure" would be quite a bit easier than it has turned out to be.

The object is to make squares of matching symbols -- the larger the squares the better.


So -- Enjoy the game!!! Click --->here<--- to play . . .

Corteo - Cirque du Soleil

Yesterday, I attended the performance of Cirque du Soleil's production of Corteo. It was, for me, a magical time. I've seen every show they've produced on Bravo and other channels. However, to actually be in the action made it even more special. I'll have more about the show at some point, but here are a couple of images from the show.

Hopefully, I can find some others as well...

Double Wire ~ An Elegant Timewaster

For a lazy Sunday - Here is a wonderful game based on physics:


To quote the designer of the game:

"Swinging titles are a common theme in physics games, for whatever reason. Personally, I think the attraction is two-fold. One: Actually swinging around on stuff—in real life—is a lot of fun. But, it’s damn hard. While your imagination may have you gliding from object to object with the greatest of ease, in practice it’s slow, clunky, and rather inelegant (plus, it requires a fair bit of strength, and sitting around on computers all day isn’t exactly building up that requirement). Two: There’s a primal attraction to the activity. I was watching an episode of the excellent Planet Earth with some great chimpanzee and monkey footage. I really did have the urge to spend the rest of the day in the jungle canopy, swinging carelessly from one branch to the next." (emphasis mine)

Enjoy swinging from one branch to the next. I'll be interested in just how far you make it ....

Meme Or Not To Meme ~ Early Morning Question

Bloggers often play "tag" with each other. Sometimes it merely having to accomplish some kind of writing or reveal something about yourself that others might not know, or in some cases, not wish to know. I'm not sure this qualifies as an authentic meme but here's my contribution to something that's been wandering around:

Here are five statements. All you have to do is tell me which one is the true statement. Then, in the next few days, I will write the story behind the statement.

1. I spent part of my college life working at a sea park.

2. Thanks to my youngest son, I spent a night in jail.

3. My musical instrument of choice in high school was the accordion, earning me extra money (and pick-ups) at parties.

4. I am terrified of thunder and lightning.

5. I was once an extra in a major motion picture.

Let me know which one you think it is, and as I said, in a few days I'll write about the true one (and explain the false ones) .

The Three Cups ~ An Elegant Timewaster

The Three Cups

Thanks to the folks at Durnmoose I have spent a lot of time with this game.



The object is quite simple - turning two cups at at time, get all three cups upright.



Oh, and they are so helpful, they even show you how to do it before you start to play.

I am not responsible for frustration, throwing things at the monitor, broken keyboards from having heads banged on them in irritation.

You were warned!!!

Oh Wow! PB & J In Japanese ~

Here is the original post (from Valentine's Day)~



And here is the translated version ~



That brought a huge smile to my face ~ I don't know how accurate the translation is,but it looks great!!!