A Short Thought ~ Late Evening Thoughts

Yesterday I found this image of the world according to Ptolemy (born around 85 A.D. and died around 185 A. D.) As I was looking at this image, I got to wondering what kind of a map of my life could be made. Where would things go? Would there be more mountains than valleys? What about rivers, oceans and such. I began to sketch around some ideas...then decided that I would just stick with enjoying this beautiful rendition of what the man knew.
(For a larger view --->click here<---)

And as I often do, I've turned to others to describe their feelings ..

Blessed Earth

Consecrated waters flow
From this blessed earth I know.
We owe so much to this earth,
And its life supply of hearth
Here everything thing can grow.

Consecrated waters flow,
From this blessed earth I know.
I was born here,
And I shall die here.
Precious times, this earth did sow.

Consecrated waters flow,
From this blessed earth I know.
It has seen all my days,
And every one of my childish ways.
Oh beautiful earth I hoe!
---Ashley Donovan

Waves at Hawkwood
(from the book "In Touch with Water")

This grass is like the sea;
I ride over it with big strides
uphill away from the spray of civilisation.
Deep breaths of green
rinse over my head and chest.

At the forest edge the water level rises;
trunks are awash with ivy.
The green sound of crows
flaps up from the valley
like wet raincoats.

Stalks bob buoyant heads
in the wind, and I take
the seed of their image
back with me towards the buildings
where roses cling to liferaft walls.

I walk in the translucent water
of silence.
The wooded hill behind the house
is a tall green wave
towering over the place.
---written by Julia (Jay)
(note that the three lines in italics can also be a haiku)

And last ~

Shall earth no more inspire thee

Shall earth no more inspire thee,
Thou lonely dreamer now?
Since passion may not fire thee,
Shall nature cease to bow?

Thy mind is ever moving,
In regions dark to thee;
Recall its useless roving,
Come back, and dwell with me.

I know my mountain breezes
Enchant and soothe thee still,
I know my sunshine pleases,
Despite thy wayward will.

When day with evening blending,
Sinks from the summer sky,
I've seen thy spirit bending
In fond idolatry.

I've watched thee every hour;
I know my mighty sway:
I know my magic power
To drive thy griefs away.

Few hearts to mortals given,
On earth so wildly pine;
Yet few would ask a heaven
More like this earth than thine.

Then let my winds caress thee
Thy comrade let me be:
Since nought beside can bless thee,
Return--and dwell with me.
--Emily Bronte

The Pen Becomes Mighty ~ Late Evening Thoughts

Those who have followed this blog know that I love words, language and writing. It wasn't until tonight that I discovered ~ to my horror ~ that poetry is considered dangerous....


Yes, those wonderful collections of words are now terrorist material!!

You might want to get a pencil and pad to take notes ... everyone is depending on you!!!



Remember ~ no more poetry!! They will come and take you away!!!


Edit: January 29th, 9:49pm ~ I feel terrible! I forgot to mention that the video was taken from The Durn Moose blog - a really great blog that I try to read every day!!! Sorry Moose!!!!

The New Year Begins With A Look Back (part 5) ~ Late Evening Thoughts

Life is a journey not for us to be lowered into the grave all pretty and looking rested. It is a journey for us to slide into the grave broadside at the last minute ~ banged up, used up but still proclaiming ~
Wow!!! What a ride...WOW!!! What a RIDE!!!

(You can read the previous posts here ... >1<>2<>3<>4<)

At this point in the story, I was finally in a hospital bed. There were bandages for the gash in my forehead ~ for which, since I was hanging by my neck in a looped belt, there is no explanation. There were bandages running up the operation incision (running from just below the ear almost to the collar bone) in my neck ~ which was closed with butterfly bandages to reduce the scarring. There were no bandages on the slits I made in my neck ~ those, I was told, would heal by themselves with no visible scarring. So far ... I was able to absorb that much information. I was also introduced to "the watcher." Basically, there was going to be someone sitting at the foot of my bed 24/7. While people think that it's only to keep someone from trying again, it actually provides much more than that.

There was constant monitoring (and recording) of what I was doing, my mood and my activities. They were also expected, during the day, to engage me in conversation.

They were supposed to, but I really didn't want much of that. I discovered that the day watchers loved "trash TV." If you are not familiar with that term, it covers all the reality (supposedly) type shows from Jerry Springer to Divorce Court and everything in between. So I would turn the TV (which I didn't want to watch anyway.) toward the foot of my bed and they could watch to their heart's delight.

The statistics are a little frightening. Someone of my..um...age who is depressed, is very likely to make a suicide attempt (there had been three half-hearted previous ~ I'd posted about one of them in Poison to Medicine) and what I did before was not more than an overture for this event. The most frightening statistic is that those of my age who make an attempt are probably going to make another one ~ and succeed without life skills retraining and/or serious intervention and/or continued therapy, help/support system. And so, the real journey had started.

--- more tomorrow

THINK!!! ~ Some Mid-afternoon Silliness

I don't very often post videos on my blog, but after I cleaned up the coffee I spewed and dropped on my computer keyboard ... I just couldn't resist!!

And I refuse to be responsible if you get offended ...

ACK!!! ~ Confused Late Night Post

I was determined to add another chapter to the my story . . . A number of things/people got in the way AND my computer decided it wanted a holiday, I decided perhaps I would wait until tomorrow night ... SIGH!!