Golden Eggs (2) ~ Early Morning Thoughts`

Last night I recounted a fable about the golden goose that laid golden eggs.

"[While many people see the story as a warning against greed or even the more you produce, the more you do, the more effective you will be.] . . . I suggest that within this fable is a natural law, a principle - the basic definition of effectiveness True effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).

If you adopt a pattern of life that focuses on golden eggs and neglects the goose, you will soon be without the asset that produces golden eggs. On the other hand, if you only take care of the goose with no aim toward the golden eggs, you soon won't have the wherewithal to feed yourself or the goose."1

At this point, I basically had an epiphany about some of what I had been doing in the past and even recently. (Epiphany can be a "nice" word for getting smacked in the back of the head with a 2x4)

I learned there are three kinds of assets - physical, financial and human.
Three years ago, I purchased a good computer. Later I purchased a very good monitor...(not to play World of Warcraft, of course) And over time, I've given some thought to their maintenance and upkeep - but not as much as I should have. Now, the computer is in need of some attention, by someone that is a little more knowledgeable than I am about serious maintenance. I was actually looking at the short-term and had started to run this asset down. Of course, I can say the same about my body - and trust me there is a LOT of work to be done there. (major overhaul for 600, Alex)

The next asset is financial. And I've had to make some changes there as well. Not that I, at this point, have to worry - but if I were to continue living my life as if tomorrow didn't matter, I would soon be having to worry about tomorrow. Of course, our ability to earn and manage money is a financial asset as well. But, there will come a time when perhaps I won't be able to earn money and I don't want to do things that will get in the way of the now.

A year and a half ago, I took a job as a by-the-week apartment manager 1) because it was supposedly right up my alley and 2) it was going to pay me a salary that was much higher than the level of the job seemed to be. It was what seemed to be a good opportunity. Lots of promises were made and I signed on at the interview. The fact also that I had been without work for sometime might have played a part in it as well.

Now that I look back - especially with the golden goose in mind - I realize that this fable DOES contain principles. The properties were owned by a slumlord less than honorable group of people. There were serious maintenance issues, etc. I thought at the time, if I can only get the rents collected, keep the tenants happy keep moving people into empty apartments and get whatever maintenance needs accomplished I can within the system that I would be fine.

Right at the start what was being produced (the rents) was getting much more attention than the capacity to produce (the apartments). And as I look back over some of my posts about the place, I knew what was going to happen much earlier then I admitted it to myself. And now, I'm doing in six days what "normal" apartment managers do in four weeks. And each week I got the privilege of starting all over again.

So now, I'm fighting my ability to collect rents/fill apartments/evict those who don't pay/keep the central family office happy (what is being produced) by my constant frustration over what isn't happening and my feelings of sheer terror at losing the job and not having an income (producing capacity) as well as being determined to please the "boss.".

Up until the last several weeks (the change due to a lost lawsuit about overtime) managers were basically on-call 24/7 and worked seven days a week. Something was going to give, and I can tell you - as far as the family was concerned - it wasn't going to be what was being produced.

As I began to spiral downward from all that was going on - to say nothing of what I was fighting mentally that I didn't even realize - I have to say that my rent collections were the best in the entire system of apartments (in three states). I had a positive balance on the spreadsheets - the bible of the owning family - and everyone had basically paid all that was owed and some were even ahead.

--more on this tomorrow
_______________
1. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey pg. 56

Golden Eggs ~ Late Evening Thoughts

With tropical storm Eduard bearing down, people are beginning preparations for what may/might happen ... where I live in Houston, we will probably have plenty of rain and some wind. As with tropical storms/hurricanes they have a tendency to keep their intentions fairly close to the chest and don't play their cards until the last possible moment.

Lat week I finally got a copy of a book that has been available for a number of years. I have e-mailed the author for permission to do some quotes from the book, but tonight I wanted to start with a story the author tells. It was a story I'd heard a number (?!) of times before - but where I am on this journey now - this time it really spoke to me on a number of different levels. (with apologies to Aesop and others)

There once was a man who by being blessed with good fortune was given a goose in exchange for some work that he did. While he was not happy with only getting a goose, he thought it would at least make a good dinner as it seemed very fat and actually quite content.

He took it home and placed the goose in a box by the fireplace so that it could stay warm and stay within sight.

In the morning when he looked in the box the goose had been in - he was astonished to see a golden egg. One golden egg. Knowing this was quite valuable, he took it into market and sold it for quite a good sum of money. He was pleased.

Each morning he checked the goose's box and each morning there was yet another golden egg - each as valuable as the first one.

This went on for sometime and eventually the man became somewhat impatient. Rather than having just one egg a day, he began to wonder why they goose didn't lay two or three. . . or even more.

He began to realize that the goose must have either gold inside or a lot of golden eggs. So, early one morning - right after the goose had laid yet another golden treasure, the man killed it.

He quickly cut it open expecting to find a treasure that would make him rich and powerful for his entire life. He was to find nothing other than what any goose or living creature would have inside.

And now, he was left with a hacked up goose not fit for cooking and no goose to lay golden eggs.

For years I've heard the "moral" of the story as "greed can overreach itself" or "haste makes waste" or "what some people have is never enough." But there is a very different approach to the story that really had me evaluating my life and somethings that I've done. Not that they were "bad", so to speak - but perhaps there might have been a better way...

--more tomorrow

By the way - I thought you might enjoy the Indian version of the story - this was translated and published in 1895.

The Golden Mallard
from The Jataka

Once upon a time when Brahmadatta was reigning in Benares, the Bodhisatta was born a Brahmin, and growing up was married to a bride of his own rank, who bore him three daughters named Nanda, Nanda-vati, and Sundari-nanda. The Bodhisatta dying, they were taken in by neighbors and friends, whilst he was born again into the world as a golden mallard endowed with consciousness of its former existences.

Growing up, the bird viewed its own magnificent size and golden plumage, and remembered that previously it had been a human being. Discovering that his wife and daughters were living on the charity of others, the mallard bethought him of his plumage like hammered and beaten gold and how by giving them a golden feather at a time he could enable his wife and daughters to live in comfort. So away he flew to where they dwelt and alighted on the top of the central beam of the roof. Seeing the Bodhisatta, the wife and girls asked where he had come from; and he told them that he was their father who had died and been born a golden mallard, and that he had come to visit them and put an end to their miserable necessity of working for hire.

"You shall have my feathers," said he, "one by one, and they will sell for enough to keep you all in ease and comfort."

So saying, he gave them one of his feathers and departed. And from time to time he returned to give them another feather, and with the proceeds of their sale these Brahmin women grew prosperous and quite well to do.

But one day the mother said to her daughters, "There's no trusting animals, my children. Who's to say your father might not go away one of these days and never come back again? Let us use our time and pluck him clean next time he comes, so as to make sure of all his feathers."

Thinking this would pain him, the daughters refused.

The mother in her greed called the golden mallard to her one day when he came, and then took him with both hands and plucked him.

Now the Bodhisatta's feathers had this property that if they were plucked out against his wish, they ceased to be golden and became like a crane's feathers. And now the poor bird, though he stretched his wings, could not fly, and the woman flung him into a barrel and gave him food there. As time went on his feathers grew again (though they were plain white ones now), and he flew away to his own abode and never came back again.

F.Y.I. ~ The Return ~ Early Evening Thoughts

I'm sorry that I have been "missing in action" for these last months. I would like to say upfront, everything is fine, I'm fine and what is now going on around me is fine as well!!
It was just important that I take some time off and solidify what's been happening with me, and to get to the point that I actually wanted to write something that wasn't in my journal.

So, even tho' I have NOT been:



And I certainly have not been under a storm of any kind:




















I am glad to say that in the next few days I shall be back, and be back to stay!!!

Daddy Dearest ~ Early Morning Thoughts

I did a little research about the upcoming holiday of Father's Day.

About 4,000 years ago a young boy named Elmusu wished his Babylonian father good health and a long life by carving a Father's Day message on a card made out of clay. (No one seems to know exactly where this charming and suspect legend comes from ...) No one knows what happened to Elmusu or his father, but the tradition of having a special day honoring fathers has continued through the years in countries across the world.

In the Catholic Liturgical Calendar, Father's Day is celebrated on St. Joseph's Day ~ March 19. In the Lutheran Church, March 19 is also observed as the Feast of St. Joseph. And even other Protestants denominations celebrate a Festival of Joseph. In New Orleans, the feast is celebrated with elaborate altars and even parades.

In the Eastern Orthodox Church, the feast day of St. Joseph is celebrated on the First Sunday after Christmas).

The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.

Having been raised by her father, William Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

In 1924, Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national holiday, but according to several sources, the first presidential proclamation of the 3rd Sunday in June as Father's Day was in 1966 ~ but only for that one year. Finally, in 1972 Father's Day was made permanent by another presidential proclamation.

Any man can be a father,
but it takes a special person
to be a Dad.

I'm Thinking Of A ~ Late Night Thoughts

If you have never read "The Onion" you have missed a delightful collection of completely made-up fanciful and commentary articles. In October 2, 2002 they printed an article that shows they had their crystal ball completely polished - or at least pointed in the right direction. Thanks to durnMoose blogs for printing this article!

RIAA Sues Radio Stations For Giving Away Free Music

LOS ANGELES-The Recording Industry Association of America filed a $7.1 billion lawsuit against the nation's radio stations Monday, accusing them of freely distributing copyrighted music.

Here is the complete article:

LOS ANGELES—The Recording Industry Association of America filed a $7.1 billion lawsuit against the nation's radio stations Monday, accusing them of freely distributing copyrighted music.

"It's criminal," RIAA president Hilary Rosen said. "Anyone at any time can simply turn on a radio and hear a copyrighted song. Making matters worse, these radio stations often play the best, catchiest song off the album over and over until people get sick of it. Where is the incentive for people to go out and buy the album?"

According to Rosen, the radio stations acquire copies of RIAA artists' CDs and then broadcast them using a special transmitter, making it possible for anyone with a compatible radio-wave receiver to listen to the songs.

"These radio stations are extremely popular," Rosen said. "They flagrantly string our songs together in 'uninterrupted music blocks' of up to 70 minutes in length, broadcasting nearly one CD's worth of product without a break, and they actually have the gall to allow businesses to advertise between songs. It's bad enough that they're giving away our music for free, but they're actually making a profit off this scheme."

RIAA attorney Russell Frackman said the lawsuit is intended to protect the artists.

"If this radio trend continues, it will severely damage a musician's ability to earn a living off his music," Frackman said. "[Metallica drummer] Lars Ulrich stopped in the other day wondering why his last royalty check was so small, and I didn't know what to say. How do you tell a man who's devoted his whole life to his music that someone is able to just give it away for free? That pirates are taking away his right to support himself with his craft?"

For the record companies and the RIAA, one of the most disturbing aspects of the radio-station broadcasts is that anyone with a receiver and an analog tape recorder can record the music and play it back at will.

"I've heard reports that children as young as 8 tape radio broadcasts for their own personal use," Rosen said. "They listen to a channel that has a limited rotation of only the most popular songs—commonly called 'Top 40' stations—then hit the 'record' button when they hear the opening strains of the song they want. And how much are they paying for these songs? A big fat zip."

Continued Rosen: "According to our research, there is one of these Top 40 stations in every major city in the country. This has to be stopped before the music industry's entire economic infrastructure collapses."

Especially distressing to the RIAA are radio stations' "all-request hours," when listeners call in to ask radio announcers, or "disc jockeys," to play a certain song.

"What's the point of putting out a new Ja Rule or Sum 41 album if people can just call up and hear any song off the album that they want?" Frackman asked. "In some instances, these stations actually have the nerve to let the caller 'dedicate' his act of thievery to a friend or lover. Could you imagine a bank letting somebody rob its vaults and then allowing the thief to thank his girlfriend Tricia and the whole gang down at Bumpy's?"

Defenders of radio-based music distribution insist that the relatively poor sound quality of radio broadcasts negates the record companies' charges.

"Radio doesn't have the same sound quality as a CD," said Paul "Cubby" Bryant, music director of New York radio station Z100, one of the nation's largest distributors of free music and a defendant in the suit. "Real music lovers will still buy CDs. If anything, we're exposing people to music they might not otherwise hear. These record companies should be thanking us, not suing us."

Outraged by the RIAA suit, many radio listeners are threatening to boycott the record companies.

"All these companies care about is profits," said Amy Legrand, 21, an avid Jacksonville, FL, radio user who surreptitiously records up to 10 songs a day off the radio. "Top 40 radio is taking the power out of the hands of the Ahmet Erteguns of the world and bringing it back to the people of Clear Channel and Infinity Broadcasting. It's about time somebody finally stood up to those record-company fascists."

And of course, we know that a couple of years later the RIAA began suing anyone they could possibly think of who might have a single song/CD in their possession that might be a copy. Aside from actually dealing with people who were making enormous quantities of music available, they have also gone after grandmother's who had no idea how to operate a computer - and there is even a story floating around that they have sued at least three dead people.

Of course, they were a number of years behind ASCAP (another royalty organization) that was collecting money if a Girl Scout Camp sang "God Bless America" around the campfire, but that's another post!

I was looking through "The Onion" archives and found this article dated November 30, 2005. At first glance, it seemed like just another Onion article that John Stewart might have used.

The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday that it will be taking legal action against anyone discovered telling friends, acquaintances, or associates about new songs, artists, or albums. "We are merely exercising our right to defend our intellectual properties from unauthorized peer-to-peer notification of the existence of copyrighted material," a press release signed by RIAA anti-piracy director Brad Buckles read. "We will aggressively prosecute those individuals who attempt to pirate our property by generating 'buzz' about any proprietary music, movies, or software, or enjoy same in the company of anyone other than themselves." RIAA attorneys said they were also looking into the legality of word-of-mouth "favorites-sharing" sites, such as coffee shops, universities, and living rooms.

However - this week a serious bill began to make it's way through the "hallowed halls" of Congress. Here are some of the key provisions:

--Criminalize "attempting" to infringe copyright.
Federal law currently punishes not-for-profit copyright infringement with between 1 and 10 years in prison, but there has to be actual infringement that takes place. The IPPA would eliminate that requirement. (The Justice Department's summary of the legislation says: "It is a general tenet of the criminal law that those who attempt to commit a crime but do not complete it are as morally culpable as those who succeed in doing so.")

--Create a new crime of life imprisonment for using pirated software. Anyone using counterfeit products who "recklessly causes or attempts to cause death" can be imprisoned for life. During a conference call, Justice Department officials gave the example of a hospital using pirated software instead of paying for it.

--Permit more wiretaps for piracy investigations.
Wiretaps would be authorized for investigations of Americans who are "attempting" to infringe copyrights.

--Allow computers to be seized more readily.
Specifically, property such as a PC "intended to be used in any manner" to commit a copyright crime would be subject to forfeiture, including civil asset forfeiture.

Any chuckling over The Onion article stopped. I was teaching in India when Indira Ghandi with a single stroke of a pen took all liberties away (including those afforded to those of us who were working there). Somehow, when I read/think about some of the things going on - or proposed, I hear faint sounds of the Sitar in the background.

When You Least Expect It (1) ~ Early Morning Thoughts

This post has had a number of titles over the last three days. The Luggage Tag Says - (4), Surprised With Joy or even Little Did I Know ... in other words, this has been a very difficult post to put into words (in a good way) - let alone title. Over a month ago, I introduced a person I called Toby (not his name or initial). It was in the post titled Surprised But Not By Joy. I had talked about a deep rooted cynicism I discovered concerning people and was working on getting weeded out of my personal garden.

A several weeks ago, we met Toby again at the same place - and I had a delightful time chatting and getting to know him even better. It was then I realized that D&D were having some serious problems with this. It was that night that D decided to drop the comment to me that I "had more patience that he did what 'those' kind of people." He had put Toby in a very specific category and therefore was not to be trusted or even conversed with beyond minor pleasantries. And there is a HUGE difference between being a cynic and being cautious.

A cynic is a man who,
when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
--H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Toby and I met for coffee the next day - and embarked on a series of conversations/meetings that were honest, truthful and enlightening.

The Luggage Tag Says - (4)

I had started the series on removing false luggage tags on life's journey and thought it was almost complete for the time being, when I discovered this tag hidden behind the bright red yarn ball on the handle of my luggage so I can spot it in the midst of others at the airport. I had talked about the false luggage tag of expecting every answer to be according to my expectations.

THIS luggage tag,however, is the tag of expecting every answer to be according to OTHER people's expectations - sometimes at the expense of my own. And for a "fixer" personality such as I have been dealing with, that can be a real trap. The fixer tends to pour a LOT of personal oil over other people's troubled waters, to the point their car can run out of oil - and burn out. This doesn't mean I shouldn't listen and evaluate others people's opinions when necessary. It does mean that I can't base my personal life expectations on the expectations of other people. Before it comes up, I'm not talking about a job where obviously the expectations are going to be based on other people. After all, a job - as a very interesting consultant once said - requires that you rent your behavior for a period of time, based on the expectations of others.

Of course, D&D were merely (in their minds) trying to be protective, attentive, etc.. Based on further comments and conversations that were had - they also had a mindset that was not going to change (easily), and were expecting me to follow in that. They have been unable to share in the fact that within the last week I have been:

Surprised With Joy -
(apologies or thank you to C. S. Lewis)

Toby and I went for lunch and a movie. Trying to find the small Greek restaurant that I knew exactly where it was - proved that I didn't know where it was. We eventually found it - after quite a search on foot. When we sat down, I was struck by the fact we both had been laughing about the situation and enjoying our surroundings. We even took time to stop at an enormous waterfall fountain that is a Houston landmark. We took a great deal of time over lunch and put off the movie until the next day. On my way home I was still chuckling over the excursion to the wilds of "getting lost" in the general vicinity, and was also struck by the ease of the conversation and sharing that occurred.

We met for an early light dinner the next day, and as we were going into the theater - I turned to Toby asked, "Are we dating?" I was horrified that sentence had come out of my mouth. There had been nothing on either side that obviously indicated such a thought was correct. But, being the terminal romantic that I am - (remember, we're the ones that pat the sandwich after we make them)- my life is colored by many small things as well as the huge brick walls that I occasionally run headlong into.

What is a small thing? As I've mentioned before, I have very bad knees and am working toward getting them operated on and repaired. I was struck by the fact that at curbs - without being asked - Toby would pause and wait for me to step down offering his shoulder as balance. A little thing. We visited a couple of friends today, and they had one of those lovely, delightful overstuffed LOW leather couches that even people with great legs have some trouble getting up from. Without a word, or even a glance - there was an arm right in my peripheral vision to hold onto and get up. A little thing. "Oh well," someone might say - "He's just being polite, kind or helpful." To which I reply: "And your point?" The fact is - I've never had any of my friends over the last several years do that.

February 17th I posted about "who are you looking for" not what are you looking for - but who. I included some short descriptions of incidents that in my mind helped me with the "who."

The dramatist in me realizes that I have not given Toby's answer to my question along with several other questions people might have. This is, however, a good time for an intermission.
--More Tomorrow

Be A Grape - Not A Raisin ~ Early Morning Thoughts

Yesterday as I was around various groups of people (at/on the bus -stores-waiting for a friend to get out of work) I was struck by the various attitudes and behaviors. I realized how much people seemed beat down, giving up and incredibly unhappy with themselves and the world around them.

It's not hard to understand. A simple look at the news that besieges us almost on a minute by minute basis is far from anything that allows time to digest, process and deal with in a way which creates a safe haven to allow life and joy to work through all that is out there.

And much of it seems to create even more divisions than are already there. An NBA star announces he's gay, another NBA star says he hates gays; someone announces their candidacy for public office, others immediately announce why that person is unfit for public office. Hundreds get trapped on airplanes frozen to runways for hours. And it seems so much that should be harmless suddenly becomes deadly - peanut butter, who would have thought? And fear can grip like a viper and spread its deadly poison.

When I had given up all hope and had lost the meaning of even living...I too felt that nothing matter, there was nothing to go on for and certainly nothing that I could/would be able to do.

In making the journey back from the edge of nothingness, I have my return to childlike enthusiasm, hope, joy and personal responsibility.

I have more on this topic, but let me state as I have in previous posts - I have no intention of advocating a "Pollyanna" outlook on life (I have always wanted to slap her when either reading the book, or choking my way through the movie). Nor do I advocate the "Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better" school of thought advocated by Emil Coue. Mine is not a perfect journey, but a personal journey.

For now, I have gathered some quotes that reflect directly on what has made differences in my life - and those around.

So many people are using up their precious moments of life striving for a bigger house, newer car, college for the kids, and many additional outer expressions of the so-called necessities of life. How many moms and dads are overwhelmed just trying to keep up with their notions of what is called for to be a successful family? Being too busy trying to manage a career and a family and not having fun and joy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some people born as ripe, plump grapes have become dried up old prunes. Why be a raisin when you can be filled with juice?
--Stan Smith

Nothing is lost upon a man who is bent upon growth; nothing wasted on one who is always preparing for … life by keeping eyes, mind and heart open to nature, men, books, experience … and what he gathers serves him at unexpected moments in unforeseen ways.
--unknown

The work of an individual still remains the spark that moves mankind forward...
--Igor Sikorsky

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked; it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
--Franz Kafka

He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every thought is allied with power and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. Thought allied fearlessly to purpose becomes creative force. Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
--Carl Jung

That which we are, we are, and if we are ever to be any better, now is the time to begin.
--Lord Alfred Tennyson

When you have to make a choice, and don't make it, that in itself is a choice.
--William James

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.
--Lloyd George

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can bring peace to others.
--Thomas a Kempis

And remember, we all stumble, every one of us .This is why it is good to go hand in hand.
--E. K. Brough

Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.
--Carl Jung


Often, people try to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.

The way it actually works is the reverse. You must find out who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want."
--Margaret Young

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
--Mark Twain

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
--Elbert Hubbard

Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.
--Chinese Proverb

The whole purpose of the universe is unerringly aimed at one thing - you.
--Walt Whitman

Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.
--Tao Te Ching

Everyone stumbles over the truth from time to time, but most people pick themselves up and hurry off as though nothing ever happened.
--Sir Winston Churchill

He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses.
--Horace

Computers are useless. they can only give you answers.
--Pablo Picasso

Be not afraid of changing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
--Chinese Proverb

A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
--George Bernard Shaw

Only those who risk going too far can know how far they can go.
--Unknown

The freedom to fail is vital if you are going to succeed.
--Micheal Korda

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
--Abraham Lincoln

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life away in fruitless efforts.
--Samuel Johnson

If you want happiness for an hour -- take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day -- go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month -- get married.
If you want happiness for a year -- inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime -- help someone else.
--Chinese proverb

Digging Deeper Into Integrity ~ Early Morning Thoughts

As I've thought about integrity and honesty. I realized that I have to order what I consider to be my core values - and it's no accident that I should list integrity first (by the way, that's where the Air Force Academy places it). Integrity for me, is where all my other values will fall or stand. Without integrity my reasons for doing anything can justifiably be questioned - and doubted. Without integrity my personal quest of excellence also comes under a cloud.

Some time ago, I read that integrity is the willingness to do what's right even when no one is looking. Without someone around, I may feel it acceptable to do whatever I want, how I want - without any concern about consequence. Of course, there still are consequences for actions - but the result might not be all that public, at first. But - as some major leaders have discovered, failure to have integrity in private can be exposed in public. But, to hold onto my values - no matter what the situation, is integrity in action.

But this also isn't a full definition of integrity. If I turn again to the dictionary: “uncompromising adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.” As I've said before, integrity defined this way is controlling. It implies following standards set by only by others. This also leads to the acrimonious discussions of almost any subject currently being debated. Even between people who should be somewhat in agreement, the arguments become almost self-serving and divisive. It implies that whatever I hold absolute, everyone else should. And without going into detail, we call can think of serious incidents, decisions and problems that have resulted in situations that never should have happened. Or, shouldn't have happened the way they did if people were working in TRUE integrity.

An addition to the definition could be "the state of being whole and your true self". Which could mean - standing against the "crowd" to hold onto what I believe to be right. So, going back to the comment above - integrity is not only doing what's right when no one is looking, but doing what's right when other people are watching.

My reactions have to be based on what is true, not fantasy, and I have to make commitments based on my vision or purpose. In short, my life has to be aligned with the big picture. Being responsible is handling whatever comes along and making adjustments so problems don’t repeat themselves. Responsibility and integrity is not about blame.

Far more difficult than knowing what is right is doing what is right. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it is always right.
--George S. May (founder of the May Company)

This quote gets at the real meaning of integrity. When doing right thing starts to be in conflict with the easy way, or is at "odds" with "the way we've always done it," is when our integrity is confronted. My integrity is really called upon when doing the "right thing" makes me subject to criticism, ridicule, or second guessing.

But it struck me, that this kind of integrity is extremely personal. I do not have to require MY integrity of someone else - only that they follow their integrity.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

Core values on paper are nice, but without putting those values into action they are nothing more than words. Dr. King's quote highlights the purpose of having core values, which is to use those values to shape my decisions and actions. And because of the "big picture" I avoid the my-way-only type of reaction or decisions.

more to come on this



I'm grateful for a friend explaining
the Air Force Academy code

Early Morning Thoughts ~ Amore (part 2)

Valentine's Day is right around the corner and being the terminal romantic that I am, (the symptom of terminal romanticism: we pat the sandwiches after we make them) I've been thinking about love. A number of years ago Art Linkletter had a section of his TV program called "Kids Say The Darndest Things." Of course, the joy of that program was his ability to get children to admit to things their parents were usually horrified to hear. One little girl I remember announced her Mother's pregnancy on national television - something her Mother had not told ANYONE, including the Father!

However, children have insights that we adults (who have lost our childlike enthusiasm for life) tend to miss.


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

What do you think?

"When my grandmother got arthritis,
she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
--Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way
they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is
safe in their mouth."
--Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume
and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."
--Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat
and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them
give you any of theirs."
--Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile
when you're tired."
--Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes
coffee for my daddy and she takes
a sip before giving it to him, to
make sure the taste is OK."
--Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time.
Then when you get tired of kissing,
you still want to be together and
you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss"
--Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room
with you at Christmas
if you stop opening presents and listen."
--Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better,
you should start with a friend
who you hate,"
--Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more
Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you
like his shirt,
then he wears it everyday."
--Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and
a little old man who are still friends
even after they know each other so well."
--Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on
a stage and I was scared. I looked
at all the people watching me and
saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that.
I wasn't scared anymore."
--Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more
than anybody .
You don't see anyone else kissing
me to sleep at night."
--Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy
the best piece of chicken."
--Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy
smelly and sweaty and still says
he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
--Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks
your face even after you left him
alone all day."
--Mary Ann - age 4

"When you love somebody, your
eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you."
(what an image)
--Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you'
unless you mean it.
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.
People forget."
--Jessica - age 8

And the final one --
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia
supposedly talked about a contest
he was asked to judge -
The purpose of the contest was to
find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child
whose next door neighbor was
an elderly gentleman who had
recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little
boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had
said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

more on amore later