But The Luggage Tag Says (3)~ Early Morning Thoughts

In my last post, I mentioned that at one point I was working for a resident theater company. I had directed several productions while there and they were very successful (even award winning). There was a script that had been around for several years. Each year it would be considered and for various reasons not included in the season. It was a play with a delightful premise and was quite amusing as well. I finally prevailed in committee and the play was added and I was to direct it. As a premier (premiere?) I was sure that there would be no problems with either the script, casting or production. Quoting from the last post:

"I spent a tremendous amount of time with the script - many meetings with designers and such, and would then plunge off into what I expected the production to be like and look like. (are you paying attention to the pronouns and expectations here?) Rehearsals went quite well, and I was quiet pleased with the result. There were a few nagging questions from various people associated with the theater, but I was convinced the final result would answer all doubters. The show had spectacle, humor, tenseness, drama and a happy ending. I had even added a number of abstract moments in the show (something that was only hinted at in the script) and expected that the audience would enjoy and follow along with them."

I was sure that my expectations were going to be fulfilled the way I intended. There would be amazing reactions from all concerned. There were reactions, to be sure. However, they were not what I intended nor, in some cases, wanted. I ran headlong into the wall of expecting answers according to my expectations. While not a failure, it was not a success either.

I've written before about my non-relationship relationship with ZZ. This is probably the most personal of the false expectations trap. Not only did I have false expectations, but I had various people at various times point out that my expectations were false and that I was headed for serious problems. But along with the false expectation I had added yet another luggage tag:

2) Fantasy travel: A very weak color, which leads away from the bright color of reality.

I was so sure that everything was going to turn out as I expected and desired, I literally decorated my luggage of life with various tags - the one of fantasy travel being quite prominent. And for an incredible number of years, I clung tightly to that tag - believing that ZZ would change, that our entire lives would change. And it never happened. But, of course, I had invested to much into the false itinerary, I became overwhelmed by the idea of making it a reality and making the journey fit what I felt it should be. And long the journey, I lost myself. I fell into several major traps because my expectations were not grounded for flight school as they should have been.

My identity is not a by-product of activity.

Even at my ... ahem ... age, life can be quite full of activity. But none of these defines who I am, and what journey I'm taking. I can be going and doing various tasks all day and sometimes into the evening, but these are simply tasks - things to accomplish. None of these are really who I am.

My identity is not a by-product of relationship.

I learned this painfully with ZZ. And, of course, still have to have an occasional refresher course as my journey continues. That's why the quote that a fellow blogger Nodrin King left me is so powerful and true. I have to develop who I am. I have to take the journey of finding myself and becoming comfortable with myself. And as the quote puts it at the end - My relationships can be a by-product of how I view my identity and myself.

"Happiness is not something that someone else, like a lover, can give to us. We have to achieve it for ourselves. And the only way to do so is by developing our character and capacity as human beings; by fully maximizing our potential ... What is important now is to work hard at developing yourselves into truly wonderful human beings. Ultimately, the relationships you form are a reflection of your own state of life."

--more on all this later

F.Y.I. - Problems Posting

While I've been working on early morning thoughts, I've had connection problems and now a storm has broken. I'll try and get the posting completed - but should there continue to be problems, I'll post it later this morning.

The lightning is beautiful outside, but wrecks havoc with the power in the complex.

But The Luggage Tag Says (2)~ Early Morning Thoughts

Nodrin King (from A Flat With A View) left me a quote that added to what I had been thinking about as far as one of the luggage tags I’ve been dealing with …"Happiness is not something that someone else, like a lover, can give to us. We have to achieve it for ourselves. And the only way to do so is by developing our character and capacity as human beings; by fully maximizing our potential ... What is important now is to work hard at developing yourselves into truly wonderful human beings. Ultimately, the relationships you form are a reflection of your own state of life."…. The last sentence is so true. And he's figured out part of where I'm heading with some of these postings.

I had been thinking about the false luggage tag of expecting every answer to be according to my expectations.

To start this, I want to take a story from the Old Testament. Regardless of personal belief, there are some stories that are universal. It’s about a royal with a big head. His name is Naaman. Now, he was quite an important person - he was a warrior, a highly regarded leader, and his life could be considered a success. There was just one “little” problem to make his happiness complete. He suffered from leprosy. No matter how great a warrior or leader he was, his life was headed toward the leper colony - a total outcast. Now, amidst his spoils of war was a young girl that offered a solution. There were prophets in Israel who could and would cure Naaman. Of course, Naaman immediately petitioned the King of Syria to take the “cure” in Israel.

The King of Syria was more than happy to oblige and sent a letter to the King of Israel (along with a small payment for services rendered). Of course, the King of Israel (KOI) was more than glad to receive the money for the treasury, but making sure that a major player of Syria returned home healed of leprosy - that was asking the impossible. So much so, that the KOI began tearing his clothes, and wailing at the top of his lungs (That usually happens when the right message has been giving to the wrong person, but that’s another story altogether).

By this time, the entire household was in full hysteria mode - after all, failure to cure Naaman meant failure to continue in the lifestyle they had become accustomed to … or perhaps even failure to continue living. The wild cries of “OMG, what will we do now” finally reached the ears of Elisha. He sent a message to the KOI suggesting that he stop with the clothes tearing and yelling at the top of his lungs, and send Mr. Naaman his direction. Relieved to have someone else that would answer for failure - Naaman’s major parade was sent Elisha’s direction. Of course, being the important personage he was, Naaman fully expected a major show for his benefit. No such show happened. He didn’t even get to meet the prophet personally. The gate was opened by a servant who merely informed the exalted Naaman that he was to dip himself in the Jordan seven times. And with that - the servant closed the door. And life inside went on as usual.

Outside the gate, things were anything but usual. Naaman proceeded to have a major fit. I’m sure there were incredible threats hurled at everyone - including the King of Israel. After all, he had just been humiliated by this … this - at that point, he probably ran out of words - or at least words that were recorded. He was leaving and leaving NOW! Why was he going to leave without being healed? Because he had a false expectation of what was going to happen. He expected a grand show … perhaps even television specials to follow. He was expecting a major event. He wanted it how he wanted it!! Instead (although not exactly the purpose of this post - but worthwhile anyway) he was handed the total prosaic problem of obedience.

Finally a small one of Naaman's group that was trooping around with him , managed to get his attention and told him that if he’d been asked to do something weird, amazing or even appear on a reality television show, he would have done it right? Naaman appears to have simply stood there with his elegant and important mouth open. The little one continued by basically telling Naaman 1) he needed to drop the grand expectation and 2) he really didn’t have anything to lose - and a healing to gain by doing something completely simple.

In other words, he had to leave the false expectation of what he thought would happen and go with what could happen.

An old saying (which I used to hate): The definition of insanity is repeating exactly the same actions over and over and expecting different results.

On a more personal note, I had the opportunity to direct a premier of a play for the theater company I was working for. It was a delightful script - although not without its problems, but nothing (I believed) I couldn’t handle. I had had several very solid (and award winning) successes with this company, and was convinced I could “do it.” I spent a tremendous amount of time with the script - many meetings with designers and such, and would then plunge off into what I expected the production to be like and look like. (are you paying attention to the pronouns and expectations here?) Rehearsals went quite well, and I was quiet pleased with the result. There were a few nagging questions from various people associated with the theater, but I was convinced the final result would answer all doubters. The show had spectacle, humor, tenseness, drama and a happy ending. I had even added a number of abstract moments in the show (something that was only hinted at in the script) and expected that the audience would enjoy and follow along with them.

As Paul Harvey might say: The rest of this story tomorrow.

--fractal painting of simplicity:
www.cowlix.com/site/digitalart/evolvingsimplicity
--center of universe art
http://desta.jp/desta/img/centeroftheuniverseprev.jpg

Corteo - Cirque du Soleil

Yesterday, I attended the performance of Cirque du Soleil's production of Corteo. It was, for me, a magical time. I've seen every show they've produced on Bravo and other channels. However, to actually be in the action made it even more special. I'll have more about the show at some point, but here are a couple of images from the show.

Hopefully, I can find some others as well...

Double Wire ~ An Elegant Timewaster

For a lazy Sunday - Here is a wonderful game based on physics:


To quote the designer of the game:

"Swinging titles are a common theme in physics games, for whatever reason. Personally, I think the attraction is two-fold. One: Actually swinging around on stuff—in real life—is a lot of fun. But, it’s damn hard. While your imagination may have you gliding from object to object with the greatest of ease, in practice it’s slow, clunky, and rather inelegant (plus, it requires a fair bit of strength, and sitting around on computers all day isn’t exactly building up that requirement). Two: There’s a primal attraction to the activity. I was watching an episode of the excellent Planet Earth with some great chimpanzee and monkey footage. I really did have the urge to spend the rest of the day in the jungle canopy, swinging carelessly from one branch to the next." (emphasis mine)

Enjoy swinging from one branch to the next. I'll be interested in just how far you make it ....