Thursday, July 19, 2007

Happy Birthday Warren!!! ~ Early Evening Thoughts

If you've been around me for any length of time, you know that I believe in love. Love that trancends orientation, age, looks and what other people think. It must come from the depth of love my parents had for each other ~ and somehow, that was just wired into me.

One of the blogs I read each day is --->Our View On Superior<--. I've enjoyed it from the first read. Here are two people that are deeply in love, work at their relationship and totally enjoy each other.

As I said it's something that transcends orientation...it is that kind of love that is deep, powerful and something to be honored and cherished. Today was Warren's ...ahem...uh...birthday and a milestone birthday it is as well. I wondered what he would have to say about it. I was sure it would be moving and profound, and he didn't let me down. Let me rip quote from today's posting. Drop by his blog and wish him well, if you want, I know he would appreciate it.

To quote:

-It's my birthday and the love of my man is the best present I could
ever have!

-Yes it was on this date...a number of years ago that my mom and dad gave birth to me - right here in Minnesota. My dad had just returned from World War II after having served over seas.

My mom and dad actually met just prior to the war starting and had gotten married before he left for the military service.

I suppose being gone for five and one-half years - he was ready to come home and see my mom. Many children were born that same year - we eventually became known as "baby boomers".

Probably should have been called "baby exploders" because kids were coming out at a rapid pace that year. It was 1946.

Life these years has been very good to me ... I've gotten a
good education, had only two jobs in my entire life, and lived very happily. I'm not a rich man, I'm not a poor man - but I've always been fairly comfortable - having what I needed in life and never to the excess.

I think that is perhaps the best life you can have. I find poor people however are happy in many ways, while those who are rich never truly seem happy and always want more - sad to say.

My parents died at a relatively early age and I was an only child. My mom passed away when I was 18 and my dad died when I was 31 years of age. So - I've basically lived alone my entire life. I realized I was "unique" and finally knew I liked guys when I was 13 or 14 years of age...but I didn't know why.

However; living in Minnesota I never came out - never told my family or anyone I associated with. I would have been shoved back into the closet so fast, it would have made you head spin. Back in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, before I met Steve -people hated gay men.

Why would I want to bring hatred upon myself by announcing to the world "I'm gay"? There was no sense in doing that - so I just kept my mouth closed and enjoyed life as much as I could. I spent a lot of time looking at those guys in the Wards and Sears catalogs - who wore underwear! LOL! I thought they were cute.

To me they were the next best thing to having a guy. Well, after all - who knew who was gay back then?

I really never met many guys in my life - for fear of being found out and then be put up on a chopping block for society to cut away at me - because I lived in a small town area people would talk and I feared that. I sure as heck didn't want that - so I was very careful not to be actively seeking anyone.

I finished high school, went onto college and got my degree and
then found the two and only two jobs that I ever had. Both jobs have been good to me, both employers wonderful - providing me with a good salary, vacation, sick leave and health care benefits - what more could a guy need in life?

When I was about 23 or so, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life as my
Lord - and I've served Him ever since - knowing full well that God allowed me to be who I was - a gay man. I didn't really realize I was 100% gay until - I just figured it out one day. Seems dumb I know, but hey back in those days - if you liked guys it was not a good thing. Today, things are getting better and society is more accepting.

What did I need in life? Answer: A man!

Why was I gay? Why was I unique? In 1999, being a Christian - I set out for several months on an educational trip to explore the subject of being gay and what I was and why I was who I was. I read books and internet article and my Bible and anything I could get my hands on.

Conclusions from my 6 month study:


I was gay because the feelings I had came with me, right from my
mother's womb.

I was gay, because God created me as He wanted me to be.

I was gay and I was a born again Christian worshiping in an
Assemblies of God denomination. I was ok.

It was not wrong to be who God created me to be.

I could live just like anyone else, and still be gay.

Homosexuality is not a learned behavior. I learned that my sexual
orientation was inherited; and I was just plain wired that way.


Certainly some people will experiment with a gay lifestyle, and a gay person might experiment with a heterosexual one. If I was really gay, I'd find a place in life and in my community to be who I was.

The important thing is that people just love me through my life. What difference does it make if I am gay? I realized that people (everyone) needed to accept me, support me and not be judgmental toward me.

In the last week May of 1999, I put an ad on Yahoo Personals for the Duluth, Minnesota region - looking for a younger man and looking for love.

Well almost two weeks went by, and a couple people answered the ad - but they were only looking for sex - and I wanted a love relationship that lasted. My Yahoo User Name was "niceguyduluth". Why? Simply because I was a nice guy.

On June 12th, 1999 about 6:30 p.m. I was checking my Yahoo email - and low and behold - there was an email from a young guy in central Minnesota. He described himself as being blond, he was about 6 feet tall, 190 pounds, goatee, blue eyes and he was 26 years old. I thought to myself (1) can this be true and (2) could this work out, after all he was 150 + miles away from me - and long distance relationships don't work at all or not very well.

He was a gift from God to me!

Wow ... I was excited! We conversed back and forth via email and later that evening I told him to install Yahoo Messenger so we could chat - and believe me, we did chat for a whole week - solid. Morning, noon and night!

We set up a date for the following Friday, June 18th - I would drive to his home town and meet him and together we would go for the weekend to St. Cloud, Minnesota.

I arrived at his home that following Friday at 10:00 a.m. right on the dot. He was inside, wearing a pair of crutches - because he had dislocated a bone in his foot the previous Sunday while playing softball.

There he was...blue jean shorts, navy blue pull over shirt, blond hair
and big blue eyes - oh my gosh he was cute!!!

Well ... the rest is history ... we dated that weekend, and we fell in love immediately - then we dated for five more weekends - and on or about the six weekend - his vehicle arrived in front of my place with a big trailer loaded with all his furniture and belongings - and it's been the best 8 1/2 years of my life!

Steve was God's gift to me on that 1999 birthday, and he is still God's gift to me on this 2007 birthday.

So today, I'm 61 - but I feel like I'm 49 and I'll never change that. Jack Benny was 39 his whole life so 49 - hey that works for me.

Age is just a number, so I am told. If you don't mind, it doesn't
matter - and I don't mind my age at all. Birthdays come and go far to quickly - life is beautiful but it passes far faster than we can all imagine.

My final thought for the day is simply this:
Live life and enjoy every single moment you have. The possibilities for joy and fulfillment are all around you. Jump in right now and explore them fully - because that's what life is all about. I'm so glad today that I jumped into life in June of 1999 and became the man God wanted me to be with my partner Steve.

Steve was then and is now my birthday gift from God.

He's cute, he's hot and he's mine.

Happy birthday to me!

Happy Happy Birthday Warren!!!

--more complex tales tomorrow

1 comment:

Steve and Warren said...

Hi..I just read your blog...and all I can say is .."wow, how nice of you to share my thoughts".

Yes it is a milestone, but I love life and I love my partner - so that's the best gift a guy could have - faithful love!

Thanks again for your nice posting...all my best wishes man!

Warren of Steve and Warren