The Cowardly Closet ~ Late Night Thoughts

In all honesty, I have been following the hypocrisy on both sides of the Imus affair,and had actually started a fairly lengthy essay on my thoughts. I took a break and started reading blogs that I follow each day, when I read today's post at A Spider’s Web in Thornton Park.

I felt as if I had been hit in the stomach with a fist. My sadness gave way to anger and then back to sadness. Spiders blog has been an incredible light in my world. He's just gone through heart surgery, is facing treatment (possible surgery) for cancerous tumors - and now this. All caused by anonymous scum that don't have the guts or "cojones" to come out their own closet to say or do what abhorrent things.

Yes, I deliberately used the phrase "out of the closet." To me, these people that hide behind anonymity are closeted bigots that would probably be completely comfortable hiding behind white sheets and pointed hats - or wearing green shirts with a swastika on the sleeve.

I have re-printed his entire post. Be sure to read it completely - then my statements at the beginning will make sense.

From A Spider's Web In Thornton Park

I had written the first part of this blog on Tuesday Night…

I just got back from a wonderful dinner with some friends tonight and my phone rang. It had been ringing all night long at dinner - but I didn’t answer it because it kept coming up Private Number and I didn’t want to take a call from an unknown person at dinner. So it rang again when I got home. I answered it and no one spoke on the other end… just sounded like a car radio on the line so I hung up. A couple of minutes later it rang again… and this voice said “Brett”… Has the cancer killed you yet? I said “No” and they said, "Damn it God - let the cancer kill him - let the cancer kill him” and they hung up.

Now, I can only assume that this is an individual who read my blog and I KNOW it is not any of my readers - I can only assume that it is the same person who was harassing me last year over my letters to Patty Sheehan. Only my blog buddies and my closest friends know about my illness - so it must be someone who reads or has read my blog.

So, gentle phone caller - sorry to disappoint you, but you did not upset me. I am not a basket case nor am I bothered. Actually, I just feel sorry for you… that something is making you do things like this. Calling me, telling my employer about me, none of that will make me die. I am too strong, too mean and too stubborn to die just because you want me to. Nope, sorry - someone greater than both of us will make that decision.

By the way… have a nice day and just remember - karma is a real bitch…

Then on Wednesday, I get this comment on an old post…
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Um, yeah, hi, this is Death. I’m still gunning for Spider. I think the cancer will get him.

Death said this on April 11th, 2007 at 4:40 pm (edit)
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Well… it is now Friday and I hate to say it but the gentle caller has won. He found some things on the internet that were totally personal and done on my own time. Long story short, I was terminated from work today because of a personal ad he forwarded to the CEO of my company, the VP of my division, the Chairman of the Board - my VP found it to be “disgusting, immoral, vile and made him sick to his stomach” - so since I could not be terminated for something that was done on my own time from my own home, I was terminated for sending personal e-mails to several friends and my parents from work.

So gentle reader, you win. I surrender; you have what you have wanted since July… I hope you are happy, I hope you sleep well tonight, I hope that you can look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.

I have also decided to put an end to A Spider’s Web in Thornton Park. I have enough going on in my life without having to deal with without having to deal with the nut cases out there on the net. A lot of the information general reader found out had to come from my blog… and I am just tired of thinking 3 times before I post something something. The loss is just too great…

I love you all, I thank you for everything - especially the love you showed me the past month… I will be around - I am sure that Tony and Sorted will keep you posted on my ongoing treatment.

It’s been real, it’s been fun - and it HAS been real fun! I am just sorry it has to end this way at this time - this may be closing the barn door after the cow ran away… but given the past month, I need to focus elsewhere - and not be looking over my shoulder.

I am really going to miss you all - each and every one of you.

And gentle reader, now that you have gotten what you want, maybe you will have the guts to tell me who you are…

~ by Spider on April 13, 2007.

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Fear has its use but cowardice has none.
---Mahatma Gandhi

Cowards can never be moral.
---Mahatma Gandhi

The coward threatens when he is safe.
---Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Only cowards insult dying majesty.
---Aesop

Dear Spider ~ You have no idea how much I will miss you!!!